The Hurt Of Love

The hurt of love
A hurt of care,
A hurt of kindness.

Wanting to help in those darkest times.
Caring, wanting to help.
The pain of being away,
Wanting to be close.
Anticipation of the time we’ll be close.
Hurt knowing,
The truth of how I feel will hurt you.

The truth of love,
It comes with hurt.
Overshadowed by blissful joy,
Every insignificant moment,
Everything to your eyes.
The flame that lights up the night.
That chases the cold away.

This pain, always overshadowed.
By the joy of being close,
The anticipation in those lonely nights,
When I get to see you again.

A dichotomy of existence,
The pain from love.
But love throughout all pain.

Waiting for another moment.
Another insignificant moment,
To consume me in feeling,
In bliss.

A love to pull others out of darkness,
As it does to me.

A love to share in solace when hurt strikes,
Strikes you or me.

An unconditional thing.
A small thing.
From a text in the morning,
A text before bed.
A text after your achievements.
A text to comfort your falls.

Small, but significant things.

To brighten up a day.
To remind you of your strength,
To console you in your hurt.

To be there.
No matter the distance.
No matter how far you go.
A care continues.

Pain from seeing you hurt,
A pain worth fighting,
To help you get better,
To comfort when help is something I cannot offer.

Oh how love hurts,
The pain, that comes with love.
A good pain, one that pushes you forward.
To be better,
To be yourself.
To extend your arms into the warm sunlight.
To make your world your own.

The pain of love.


Curious Forgiveness

Curious forgiveness,
Why have you forgiven me?
After all I had done.

Believing in me to want to see me again,
After all this time,
After all I had done.

Giving me time,
To find my strength to recover.
After I had done.
You were there behind me.
Pushing me forward,
Even though I pushed you away.

You never left my mind,
Even as I tried.

Somehow you forgave me.
Stood by my side,
Even from afar.
Something I’ll never forget.

Always hoping for your best.
Even away from me.
Wanting to help,
To protect you,
Even from me.

No matter how far you are,
How far I push you away.
Your interests are always at heart,
Even if it may not seem.
My belief in your potential greatness.
In you.

Never wavers.

A curious forgiveness.
My curious care.

Oh I Wish I Could Say

Oh I wish I could say.
How I feel,
How I did feel,
How I do feel.
It hurt you the last time.
Crushed me before.

I’ve tried forgetting, tried burying and tried ignoring or distracting too.
Always leading.

Confusing feeling,
At peace when with you,
Not knowing what to say, when, how.
Even worse,
Knowing the pain I could cause.
Easier to live with this pain and hurt,
Knowing you’ve spared another.

Maybe I should forget it.
Disappear without trace.
I’m addicted,
To your smile,
Your laugh,
Your beauty and kindness.

So much my thoughts,
My feelings hurt me.
Hurt that I have them after so long trying to crush them.
I have stopped trying to crush what I cannot.

Oh I wish I could say,
Would you hear me?
Would you hate me,
Like in the past.

I know.

Better and stronger as I am.
My feelings,
My weakness and strength.

Oh I wish I could say,
How I feel.
Either way, if I don’t.
I’ll be gone without a trace.

Oh I wish I could say.

I think I’m okay, recently despite sad poems sometimes I have felt better than I have in honestly I would say years, if not my whole life. But because I’m better than I have been before doesn’t mean all is calm, good or easy. So I think to try to wrap my head around and try to resolve. This only brings me down further, my constant overthinking.

But I honestly am okay,

I write what I feel in the moment, even if very fleeting, I write what I am thinking if I’m not even feeling it. I write to clear things up, to put out a word of my confusion even if I am very happy.

I write to capture a finite moment of thought

Different Path

Treading down the other path,
The different path.
Away from what has been.

Unfamiliar and new,
New and in the making.
Forming it piece by peace.

Making anew,
Forming mine,
In an attempt to clear the mind’s confusion.
To fight the demons of the mind,
To clear a path through the thick fog.
Shining a light into the dark confusion,
Making a new way,
A new path.
A place to go.
A refuge for me.

Making this different path.
A fixed me.
One in the making.

Worth the Pain?

Is it worth the pain?
To get that happiness and the high.
Missing it,
In those smallest moments,
Worth the wait.

To be dragged along.
Shown the way,
Before the throw-away.
Used and led,
My mistake.
My greatest time.
Is it worth the pain.
To get this high.

Hoping for the best.
Your best.
Everything good to go your way.
As I wonder.
Is it worth the pain?
For those best moments.
Those little times.

Here I sit.
Wondering into the night.

Remembering all those times,
Those good times,
And the bad.
Wondering to myself.

It’s worth it.
To see you smile.
To see you happy.
A pain that only comes,
Wanting to see you again.
For the next good time to come.
It’s worth the pain.
The pain of the wait.
To see your smile.

I am good,

I know I mention pain,

Got it from Taylor Swift’s “Blank Space”

It’s the wait. For something good again to come, a good pain, though pain isn’t the word. The anticipation for another sweet moment.

Pain, From A Good Thing

The pain that comes,
From a good thing,
A time of bliss.
A perfect moment shining,
In the ever-precious moment in the present,

Before being lost to the past,
Only kept as a golden memory.

A good thing,
Bringing pain for its temporary loss,
Total bliss in its finite moment,
Hope for the future, and the next…
Perfect moment.

Beautiful simplicity.
In those ever-small moments,
In those ever-cherished times.

A pain, bringing with it hope.
Bringing life.
Bringing another perfect time,
To be made in the future.
Hope for another.

This pain, for a good thing.
Bringing determination,
To make another.

A good pain.
Bringing hope, love and life.
The small pain,
Only for a time.
Bringing hope for what comes.
Bringing determination for a future not-yet made,
To make it my own,
My perfect moment.

To be made.
From a moment of pain, for a good thing.

I’m not in pain or hurt, I’m amazing and happy, happier than I can remember for most of my life with the exception of a few similar moments of bliss. However this happiness is so unusual. It feels like I’m waiting to find out it’s a lie. Or something. Like it’s too good to be true.

When something good comes, you miss it more when it’s gone, even only temporarily, and that’s the pain I mean. How a good thing pains you more in it’s small temporary absence, because, it’s the best of pure bliss.

All I can do is carry on, keep busy and keep my eye on my prize in life; all the achievements and goals I have and will gain as I want them.

The Way I See You

The way I see you,
Your face lit up by the sunlight,
Your hair, resting on your shoulder.

The feeling,
Sitting next to you,
The feeling,
My heart beating faster.

You sit there,
Taking my brath away,
A witness to your kindness.
Feeling at peace.
At peace next to you.

Here I sit thinking.
Thinking in peace,
Smiling to myself.
Chuckling to the memory.

Held by the feeling.
In the way I see you.

You being you.
A person with, I can be me.

Oh, the way I see you.

Ramblings On Love, and Life

Something to share, to be, feel and give.

Something whole, yet always wanting more, to give more, share more, show more.

To face down darkest times, to help fight a way through the dark, and to find a way when it isn’t clear. To find a way to help when one isn’t shown. And when all options have been exhausted. To give a kind embrace, of heart, mind, and actuality, to help. The best feeling. To give your all, to help someone you deeply care about. To be there, even if their pain hurts you to see them so. Bear it, to help them even for but a moment. Especially if they would, they have, done the same for you.

Held you through your trials, your troubles. It isn’t owed, but in the mind it is. Confusing. Like an unsaid promise, not done because of obligation but an self-internal obligation for yourself and for them.

Such feelings cannot be explained. Only felt. Rare as they are. They are perfect. They are everything but at the same time, not, an important part of many that make you whole.

I could write for days right now. But should not.

Amazing to think, all they’ve been through, to help. I’m under no obligation to, but the one I set myself. The one I must fulfil only because of my choice, my care, my love and choice.

This feeling, bliss and happiness, I urge everyone, as I will try to do. To infuse it into everything else:

The will, power, determination, happiness, strength, care, compassion, love, hope, persistence. To feeling good, no, great, amazing. For yourself, everything, everyone. Then the sun will shine through the thick fog, over any mountain, rendering everything perfect, even as it isn’t, it will be.

An everything from not everything to make everything into a perfection that isn’t perfect, but at the same time, it is.

Looking at all the WordPorn phrases I’ve saved, picking the best related ones, the ones that touch me and bring tears of joy, happiness and deep thought. Here they are:

Sleepless Nights

Pure bliss.
Pure nights
The times to be remembered.
More than any other.

A place,
I can be me.
A time to be free.
To be fine, being me.
I always am.
But now,
The care.

A sleepless night to come.
At rest.
Not wanting to see the day end.

Smiling uncontrollably,
To myself.
To the night gone by.
I hoped would never end.

It had to.
But my day has not.
The day to be me.
The care to see,
To share.

A day over,
A beautiful day,
A blissful night.
Another to come,
To share the bliss,
Share the love and care.

To show care,
For the uncared.
To help all I can.

Revitalised in my essence.
Made in this.
I am me.
The care I feel.

A feeling never to lose.
Holding on tight,
To never let go.
And to shine the light,
In the rest of my world.

A changed world.
Achanged me.
The demons chased away by my own hand.
A new me I have formed.
A new me.
To keep.

A sleepless, strange night.
Bliss found from an unexpected place.
A beautiful life.

A beautiful time.
A beautiful life.
A sleepless night,
Pondering this beautiful night.

A beautiful night, beautiful day, golden and bright.

The care, laughs and crazy time.

I cannot possibly put into words; the feeling.

One of, no, the best night. Many more of them to come, I’m better. Have been for a while. I’ve overcome my demons. Overcome the pain. Found a way. Revitalised by many things recently. And finally. A night of beauty, to mark a new me, a new path. To see the wonder and awe coming over the horizon.