Out Of Mind

Out of mind,
I hide the feelings,
Scared of where they could take me,
Offered care and kindness.

Trying to keep the pain out of my mind.
To keep in the happiness,
A game of pretend,
To ignore my mind and emotions.
The pain that comes with darkness.
The shining light, that echoes in the darkness.

The mind, clouded with worry, sadness and uncertainty.
Trying to push all feelings out of mind.
Trying to save myself from my demons.

An attempt to hold strong against the dark.
To keep the leeches at bay.
To wipe my mind,
To save the body.

Out of mind is the answer,
Or it must be,
The solution I face,
Only way past it.

Out of mind.
To cope, to save me.

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Wandering

Strolls around the country,

The unsatiated question,

The sad question,

A wondering of confusion,

The question I find in myself.

A feeling of displacement.

Wandering on

Wandering around.

Thinking on and on.

As I sit here wondering, thinking.

My thoughts running,

Yet also still.

Wandering and wandering on.

Killing Me Slowly

The emotions,

The pain,

The sadness,

Overwhelming yet also not.

Emptying even in my exhaustion.

Contemplating some foreign aspects.

Emptying myself like a cup.

Removing all that makes me- me,

All that makes me a being, a person.

Wondering,

As I sit here unfeeling,

Wondering.

Thinking.

Waiting hoping and losing.

Troubles pile on and I sit in astonishment.

Time moves on,

And emotions are killing me slowly.

Confused Mind

Confused mind ,

In a dichotomous state.

Happy, sad, excited and in pain.

Lost and unable to navigate the confusing confines of my mind.

Unable to translate feelings,

To thoughts I can understand.

Shifts in emotions happening at a flash,

Throwing myself into disarray and confusion.

Trying to understand my feelings,

Trying to find an answer,

In myself. My mind. My heart.

Stuck in amidst my confused mind.

Blind in life,

To my feelings and thoughts.

Unable to determine or see.

Pained by what is in my mind,

The confusion that greets me.

The hurt that remains.

Thinking and thinking.

Over-thinking.

Seeing reality for what it is,

But irrationality still affecting me.

My confused mind,

What happens now?

The broken times ahead.

My own.

Confused mind.

Invisible

Invisible,

A ghost walking through the thicket,

Silence in the air,

But for the crunching leaves beneath my feet.

A slight whisper as water splashes all around,

Insects cry out.

I. Walk through.

Invisible. Unreacting. Observing.

I stop. Turn my head.

Carry on walking.

The crisp leaves of my every step,

The whispering wind that blows so gentle.

The trees protruding, with their jagged embrace.

I notice. I walk on.

Time lacking, never ending.

I walk on. Wonder. Move on again.

The darkness falls,

The forest transformed.

The environment screams. In silence.

I walk unfeeling. Into. Through. Unnoticing.

Invisible.

Paths Intertwined.

The paths intertwined,

Intricate and simple.

All encompassing and separate.

Connected in all those little ways.

The people we meet and hold dear,

A meeting by chance.

A “hello” risked.

Conversation flourishing.

To make life feel bliss.

The moment chatting when everything is understood,

When you’re understood and understand.

The little paths we all take,

Some connect, others collide.

Very few make a splash and enhance what came before.

To prop up, until foundations are strengthened,

Until you’ve done the same.

These paths intertwined into ever complexity.

To brighten the darkest day,

Enlighten the closed mind.

To build lasting paths that strength and withstand the test of time.

Feeling or Unfeeling

Question plaguing my mind,The meaning and being.The feeling,Empty and everything.The lasting question.Times which paralyse me.The answer shown.The happy-sad feeling,But feeling nevertheless.To feel,To live,To let die, but live on.My answer found,The place been.The feeling lives on.In.My answer.The feeling,Better than the lack.Better than the emptiness.Better than the end.Making me feel.Against my best efforts.A life to live,Rather than to survive.The place I find myself.The feeling that comes,The end that drifts by.My place,My feelings.The feeling of being.The me that was once lost,Once forgotten.And on I drift.It is me.The place of me.The better feeling,Than the unfeeling once known.Feeling me.A better me.The better way.This is me.The place and the feeling.The place I am.A happy-wreck.A drowned being.Overwhelmed by feeling.By being,The path outstretched,But missed.The feeling of feeling.Being whilst being.The place drifting away.Shown for nothing,While also everything.This feeling,Better than the lack.This me,This feeling,This being.I am me.All I am.This feeling.

Broken Echoes

Broken echoes,

Of my past,

The mistakes made and continued.

Trusting those who leave me down.

Those I once thought to trust,

Who continue to forget me,

As people do.

Left, as a broken echo to the world.

Drowning out reality.

Drowning out the song of life, as a broken echo.

A ghost of the now,

Cut off off from the world.

Cut out of existence.

Left with this reminder. The broken echo that follows.

The empty words given,

And retracted from me with a sharp pain.

The deceiving smile, of a friend held dear.

Left with this broken echo.

A dear reminder,

Of the pain following trust,

The hurt following friendship.

The lies given without care,

Left in this broken echo.

The repeating sound,

Through the repeated lies.

The broken echo as my reminder.

The times enthusiastically waiting for,

Not given a simple truth. To solidify the pain,

Yet left with the repeating echo.

To grasp me,

Encapsulate me.

Bring me peace.

Not wanting to bring pain or inconvenience.

But being left waiting.

In this broken echo.

My fault for trusting in a friend,

Caring, yet wondering.

Through this broken echo.

Me, a broken echo.

A path once taken,

Me. The ongoing problem.

Me. The broken echo.

Better left forgotten.

Arms Outstretched

Arms outstretched,

The time gone past,

Arms outstretched in comfort, in care.

In love, life and feeling.

In ecstatic feeling of content,

The ups and downs to be weathered.

The life with its arms outstretched.

To find the diamond in the rough.

The times there,

My path outstretched.

Open and to be mapped,

My course in the making.

My openness and care,

My kindness,

The care shown, care felt.

The life’s course,

To stand by what is right,

No matter who says you are wrong.

To live a life of care, kindness and love.

Touching people’s lives as I hope to feel.

To offer kindness and solace,

A warm embrace and kindness with care.

Confidence in who I am.

In who I can become.

No matter who stands in my way.

No matter the challenge to my kindness and care.

I am who I am and proud.

My arms outstretched,

The future to greet, embrace and hold.

To stand and be proud.

To take my future, life and goals.

To make them my own.

To make them whole.

To embrace the feeling.

To leave the obstacles behind,

Confined to my past,

The darkness pushed aside,

To live out what I can be, do and feel.

My arms outstretched to embrace the future I make before me.

My arms outstretched. To make my own path.

To make and embrace the future before me.