Path To Be Seen

There It is,
The path that is to be seen,
Amongst the unknown,
I can find.
I can be.

Not knowing my path,
Finding a knowing,
One that sets me free.

Seeing the world,
Seeing its normalcy,
Being and to be set free.

A path seen,
Amongst its lack of clarity.
The place found.

Finding and set free.
Set free by the casual.

Finding to be.

As the world,
Rings out.
Its confusion,
Trying to find a path,
Make a trek,
A path,
To find,
To be,

Let it all.
Just be.
Letting it ring past.

Amongst the calm night.
It is, let be.
As I, let it be.

It’s been a good day, did a lot of photography, sorted plans for more and plans for doing my own independent research and as one of my lecturers suggested, sending a revised and added-to essay I wrote for them to a journal. Don’t have enough time, but as always I’ll make time. Also my best friend, we chatted a little today, and I’m looking forward to spending their birthday with them!

Just wrote a comment on my favourite photographer nearby’s social media.

My true aim is, to capture beauty in normalcy. Not having to go somewhere exotic or far away, you can find beauty, inspiration and pristine bliss wherever you are. You just have to look. Even if it is hard, you just have to let your mind look.


Words To The Feeling

Of it all,

A world so real and full of it all,

To feel,
Validated, without intention,
Making, what was real,
More so,
A burden lifted.

Helped through the time,
To keep,
Defiance by my name.

To hold truth,
To rage and be,
To understand and feel,
Allow the pain to be real,
To heal over,
Make true.

To be.

To allow,
To heal,
To rage into the pain of life.
To remember the strife,
Broke me,
To allow me to see.

Thank you,
With all my gratitude.

Bringing forth a flame to burn bright.
Letting me see, see and see again.

There are none.
No words to express.
Words to the feeling.

Hung out with my best friend I haven’t seen in ages. They apologised for not being able to meet up, not making time. Truth is I avoided it. Needed to sort stuff out. Finally got to see them and feeling a world better.

One thing I said, they thanked me, for putting the words to the feeling, something they didn’t know how to put. And hearing that lit me up inside. Happy to help, understand and be understood. Helped to validate pain I felt without seeking, needing or wanting it.

Amazing day, work was hectic but got stuff done, felt a bit bad at work, just my mind, always trying my best and never being good enough as I want, even if others don’t think that. I do, always wanting to be better. Then seeing my friend was amazing in the silliest and mundane things but was amazing. Seeing another friend in the evening.

Feeling good and things are lifting up.

Can’t Help But Think

Can’t help but think,
Feel, see and think.
A time,
One of many past.
Reminders, of all.
Oh how, what?
It all fills my mind.
Drives me crazy, but happy.
Wondering and thinking.

But what?
Oh my brain hurts,
With all the questions and feeligs,
The being,
Bringing me,
Hurting but also showing me life.

I turn away,
Walk down the path,
Shielding from my eyes,
Fearful of pain.
But fearful of the pain already felt,
Already found.
But knowing.
Wishing I could get past.

Oh how I care and it kills me,
Wanting to care,
Give the world,
Be a light shining bright.
To care.

But as I shield,
Pretend to ignore,
My mind acclimatises,
Forgets what it never will,
Feins to not know,
Bury deep questions that would crush.

Not a path I wish to take,
But one I can’t find a way around.
A question, always causing pain.
But not always bad, but always hurt.

Oh how to explain,
Caring that hurts, but isn’t bad.
Caring that just is,
Just is caring.
A state,
Of being, been and to be.

Of it all.
Can’t help. But think.

Totally amazing night, with old friends I haven’t seen in ages. But it’s got me thinking, deep pondering. Not feeling bad, but amazing, but deep in thought in a mixed way. Writing lots of, probably incoherent feelings here. Truth and ramble.

But the image is another I’ve taken.

Calmly Looking Up

It is,
Calmly looking up,
Gone and falling as the pondering passes,
Done, it is,
All reached not final conclusion,
But another.

Calm in the moment,
Empty but at peace,
Being in simple autonomy,
Living out and within,
Being, time, it all.

It is,
As it is calmly looking up,
Through pain and struggle,
Clawing my way,
But here. Somehow.

Been a while since writing a post, been pondering, work has been good recently, feeling better about lots of stuff, lots of stuff fixed and sorted and took more photography today, see the post photo.

Things are looking up, calmly, only little by little. But yeah.

Nice meeting lots of new people recently and hanging out with friends also recently.

Help From the Fade

Help from the fade,
Contemplative in the moment,
From the moment,
Many moments past.

Mistakes made,
Choices,faults and errors.
From a broken mind.
Once broken, now ready to be free.
Helped in the being,
For the,
With the,

The past,
A completed chapter, never “over” but passed.
Relegated and confined,
Remembered and forgotten.
With all the thinking.

Ready to forge on.
To rise as it all falls.
The shadows fall around,
I won’t kneel.
Standing tall.

Never to stop,
Caring for those of good.
Forgetting, the demons of the past,
Forgetting? No.

Demons fail, sink back into their shadows,
To hold their regrets.
I shan’t care,
Not for all the pain.

Closure, help to forget.
To erase the mind from the faults of all my past.
Only to learn.
Greater things will come,
A world,
Kind, good and nice,
With my own making,
The people I find,
And the kind, the only ones to keep.

Sadness grips with the memories of the past,
But also not.
A past, with its feelings.
Not worth feeling, remembering.

The lesson, all tried to teach me.
Hold dear, those who care,
Offering kindness unto the world.
The rest, time will forget.
All will forget,
Without regret.

Time moves on,
Kindness and care, the only worth to be found.
To be found,
In unexpecting places.
Better ones.

The only ones of worth.

But that’s it,
The help from the fade.
A making,
Within the flames of living.

Climbing high,
As it all recedes below.
Without a care,
Without the sun-shine.

This is the help,
Help from the fade.

Writing this, my American friend, asked, cares and asked how I’ve been, writing a long answer, for me thinking of the past, present and future. Giving me hope and happiness, reminded of the dark, the demons passed. Gives me hope.

Getting into a lot of photography, daily, and here is one I had taken.

Take the Strain

To take the strain,
Move life to your will.

Davastation comes and goes,
But here we are,
This is life,
What we have.

Here I offer,
A kind heart,
A welcoming hand,
To take the strain, all I can.
To try,
To be when alone,
To feel, understand and show compassion, when all is gone.

I try. I promise.
And I, will never fail this.
To take the strain, to give a rest,
From the fight.
To help and offer what little comfort.

I understand.
I care.
I want to try and help.

Even if it all is,
Being on the end of a call,
An ocean away,
To talk it out.

I know the feeling,
Being so very alone,
A world indifferent,
It is in part a choice,
To see reality, and not to accept the lie worth telling.
A difficult dichotomy.

Not wanting,
To accept a lie.
I offer my truth,
Only care,
What, all little help I can offer.
Just to help,
Making, piecing, day-by-day,
Even a little better.

I cannot say,
How much I care,
How much I hope, it really gets better.
Regret us drifting apart,
Hoping, it’s not something I’ve done.

But that’s that.
All I can.
Ever hoping that my care sent across an ocean,
Consuming all-feeling,
May do a little, somewhere, out-of-the-blue.
To help just a little.
To help take the strain,
For even a short time.

First good night going to sleep in a long time, went out drinking with friends, well, people I didn’t know but got to know. It was nice and good, started the night alone and then saw lots of people and chatted with so many strangers, even helped another plan their undergrad dissertation all out!

Writing this, I’m happy and sad. Happy because I am, because a lovely person messaged me. Sad, because I can never help this person as much as I want to. I would love to take away all that pain onto myself, just to save it from them. They deserve it. But yeah. I’m happy, will always help. Just sad I can never do as much as I’d like.

Just Those Good Times

Just to those good times,
The times of old.

A reminder,
And the times,
Those good moments,
The world within reach.
A reminder,
The time of those times.
Being, living and feeling.

Just from those good times.

In the moment,
Living life as it passes,
With those good times to come.

What is left and made.
Just as those good times go.

Good day, had a meal at my best friend’s house with other good friends. Was good, was nice, was a lot of things and feeling happy.

All Captured From Before

From before
Of it all,
The sights, laughs and times.
Moments from the past,
Put into persoective,
Whole in memory.
The trials, torture and triumphs.
Holding myself to help,
No matter the darkness in my way.

All these moments,
Captured, so fragile and now gone.
But the memories stay.
The times as they were,

As the song flows away,
A beauty with its end.
The time, its happening.
Beauty of being,
Being in time.

As the beautiful song flows,
Radiantly into the bright backdrop,
The sun-filled sky.

To hence all will flow.
For all the time.
Let it all flow into time.
Remembering fondly,
Missing it,
And now.
Thinking, missing and welcoming the memories.

Moment’s Goodbye

The goodbye,
Of a moment,
Of all those times.

The goodbye of the moment.
Slipping off into time.
As the memories stay,
Of times gone by.
A bitter-sweet moment.

As it flows by.
And what is to come.

From the moment’s goodbye.

Writing this, finishing and finally submitting my dissertation. An end to an era, goodbyes to close friends, the end to 22 years of study. An end. Sad, but one I welcome having learnt so much. But still a little sad. Always bad at saying goodbye, to people, to times, to old parts of my life.