Fighting The Demons

Fighting off the demons,
The corrupting influences,
A dark force to throw off.
A bringer of only suffering.

A powerless entity,
As I drain them of all power,
Collect my life,
Make it my own.
Bring on the coming future.
Casting out the corruption.

Detoxifying my life of all the darkness,
That the demons use to cling hold,
I’ve found freedom from the darkness.
Claimed light for my own.

Many pieces coming together,
Forming a whole,
Forming coherency,
And a brightness not seen in a while.

Such a long time I was in the dark,
Having lost the light.
Being broken, lost, hurt and inflictng what the demons taught me.
To be cast off,
I now have choice, agency.
To cast out corruption,
To throw the demons aside.

Here I fight,
To claim a happiness once lost.
To find peace, in a tumultous world.
To find love in all things pure,
As it has found me in the unexpected places.

The demons now have no hold.
Yet they will be, an ever-formative part.
Kept in check.
But having made me stronger,
Made me wiser.
Given me great pain.
I will keep them in check,
Cast them out.

Fighting these demons. I win.
Living the life I have found.
Fighting off the demons that still seek to destroy me.

Fighting off the demons.

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The Lonely Silence Of The Dark

Lonely silence of the dark,
The dark days gone past,
Those yet to come,

Waiting for those light days, the ones to look forward to.
To hope for,
To live for.

When the darkness of the night is all around,
With silence as the figure lurking in the dark.
The depths of night.
An impenetrable shroud;
Thick, dark, all-consuming.
Suffocating at a touch.

The feeling of life,
The memories returning,
But only for a time.
The deep sadness,
To accompany the lonely silence of the dark.

Out Of Mind

Out of mind,
I hide the feelings,
Scared of where they could take me,
Offered care and kindness.

Trying to keep the pain out of my mind.
To keep in the happiness,
A game of pretend,
To ignore my mind and emotions.
The pain that comes with darkness.
The shining light, that echoes in the darkness.

The mind, clouded with worry, sadness and uncertainty.
Trying to push all feelings out of mind.
Trying to save myself from my demons.

An attempt to hold strong against the dark.
To keep the leeches at bay.
To wipe my mind,
To save the body.

Out of mind is the answer,
Or it must be,
The solution I face,
Only way past it.

Out of mind.
To cope, to save me.

Mistake

Silly mistakes,
Costly ones.
Thoughts and worries,
Rushing through my head.
Unable to think or sleep.
Over what I have done.

My mistake made.
My mistake made.

The worries all-consuming me.
The crazy worries.

Unable to sleep,
For my mistake.

An error made in rush and panic.

Seemingly nothing
But the worry consumes me.

More for what it means.
The wider thoughts,
Its implications.

Lying awake in worry,
Unable to sleep.
The mistake I made.
An error of judgement.

A mistake,
And what it means.
My mistake made.

Missing You

Missing you,
Those times we shared.
The feelings encapsulating me.
Hoping for the the next time.

Showing me the way,
The value of living.
The smallest of moments,
Meaning everything.

Showing me,
The value of living.
That happiness of life.
All it has to offer,
All I have to give.

Giving all I have,
Showing the world my passion,
My strength.
My love.
Having found the way,
Difficult but worth it.
Happy and sad.

Missing you.
As I miss you,
Building my path, my future.
Hoping to see you again.
But until then.

Until then.
While I miss you.
Making a life of my own,
One to make me proud,
Make everyone proud.
As I will be.

My eternal gratitude,
Ever yours.
For what you showed me.
How you helped me.
All we spoke about.
The feeling.
That wonderful feeling.
Missing you.

Missing you.
I lie awake,
Thinking,
Missing you.
But happy.
To have gotten to meet you.
To have found salvation.
A way out of my sadness.

Finding life.
As I’m here,
Missing you greatly,
I’m better,
I’m living,
I’m happy.
But I miss you.
But until we meet again.

Missing you


A poem the person will never see,

Happy-sad, a really good feeling.

My dedication to someone dear and special to my heart.

Wandering

Strolls around the country,

The unsatiated question,

The sad question,

A wondering of confusion,

The question I find in myself.

A feeling of displacement.

Wandering on

Wandering around.

Thinking on and on.

As I sit here wondering, thinking.

My thoughts running,

Yet also still.

Wandering and wandering on.

Killing Me Slowly

The emotions,

The pain,

The sadness,

Overwhelming yet also not.

Emptying even in my exhaustion.

Contemplating some foreign aspects.

Emptying myself like a cup.

Removing all that makes me- me,

All that makes me a being, a person.

Wondering,

As I sit here unfeeling,

Wondering.

Thinking.

Waiting hoping and losing.

Troubles pile on and I sit in astonishment.

Time moves on,

And emotions are killing me slowly.

The Sad Setting-Sun

On the horizon,
The sad setting-sun,
The orchestral symphony of colour,
The beauty soon to fade.

Tears streaming down a face,
Witnessing an end.
A finite into darkness.
Witnessing a new era.

A time of renewal.
Accompanied by an end.
Tears streaming down a face,
The sadness of a setting-sun.

The inevitable end,
Known in advance.
Hoped would never come.
The symphony of colour,
Soon to go,
Never to be the same.

The memory,
Also soon to fade.
Tears streaming down a face.
Witness of the end.

On to new beginnings,
Better times.
Tears still streaming down a face,
Witness of an end.
A time come to close.
A change so profound.

Waiting for a chance to stay,
Knowing the path lies ahead,
To take a step into the dark.
Off and away.

Tears still streaming down a face- the sad setting-sun.
To let go,
To walk down this path.
Turn turn your back.

To face the setting sun. A last goodbye.
The new beginning to come.
The sadness behind a setting-sun.
With tears streaming down a face.

Invisible

Invisible,

A ghost walking through the thicket,

Silence in the air,

But for the crunching leaves beneath my feet.

A slight whisper as water splashes all around,

Insects cry out.

I. Walk through.

Invisible. Unreacting. Observing.

I stop. Turn my head.

Carry on walking.

The crisp leaves of my every step,

The whispering wind that blows so gentle.

The trees protruding, with their jagged embrace.

I notice. I walk on.

Time lacking, never ending.

I walk on. Wonder. Move on again.

The darkness falls,

The forest transformed.

The environment screams. In silence.

I walk unfeeling. Into. Through. Unnoticing.

Invisible.