The Day My Life Changed

The day,
Unexpected,
Unusual.

Sharing in a normal day,
Losing track of all the time.
One thing to the next,
The ebbs and flows of the river.
The beauty of a simple time,
Simple,
Open,
Freeing.

A beautiful day,
The one that changed.
It changed me.
In little to no time.

A sweet time.
As the sun shines,
The birds sing and the world seems brighter.

So nice,
Casual living,
Living and being.
Being… in the moment and free.

So thankful, for the beautiful time,
The time, the day that changed me.


Feeling amazing, everything is good, everything is perfect. Met a friend, for a casual day taking photos on Tuesday, then we chatted so much instead of any photos. Later met at a bar which again was amazing. Chatting for like 4 hours. Met them everyday since but one for like a week. Thursday, we met up for a house party before going out clubbing. So much. So good. Friday she met me after I finished work, we met up for some food, and then chilled on some grass chatting and playing around before staying over at their’s. Saturday we chilled for a bit before getting ready for a DnB night out, such an amazing night. So amazing. So amazing. And even today, Sunday, I met them before their shift to see them, chat as they didn’t feel well, and it was all cool.

This week,
Has honestly been the best one ever.
Nothing bad has happened. Longest time without anxiety, without any negative feelings, maybe the occasional, but then remembering this week, what’s happened, it just makes the negative feelings just float away. They care, and I care about them more than anyone else. It’s amazing.

Everything’s just pure, casual, amazing and being is perfect.

Small Things

Small things,
Small things in the dark,
Happy, insignificant yet true.
Nice but unexpected.

Wondrous, funny and sweet.
A moment,
A time,
A small occasion.

About those small things,
Easily taken for granted,
Those small things,
That lighten a day.
Those small things,
Always remembered,
From, to on and on.

About those small things,
Those funny times,
Those nice things.

Those.
Really small things.

At Peace

At peace,
Troubled mind, set straight.
A long road to travel,
But one I must.
One I want.

Feeling,
At peace.
Knowing where I can.
The path to take,
A way opens up.
Trouble still stands,
But I am ready,
Hesitant yet determined. At peace.

To try, to travel.
To be…
At peace.

Others,
Seeing their plights,
Relating,
Feeling, empathy.

Waiting, feeling, thinking.
The rarity of peace,
Peace of mind, peace of life.

Another step to be taken.
Another time to try.
Another,
Another,
Always another.

Time to try.
Time to be.
At peace.


Feeling good, have had such a terrible week. Feeling better, feeling okay. Thanks to everyone, all my friends, people online and everyone.

Everyone has their ups and downs. Humans have a strong ability for empathy.
Something which I believe can overcome all.
Empathy, all the problems of the world could be solved by.

Empathy, and at peace.

Have so much to look forward to, times with friends, badminton and times, working together to finish my work. All. All worth it. It’s just those times when lost. It’s hard to find peace. Thanks, thank you MusicGirl for all the help you’ve offered. Even if I was blind to trying to help myself.

Beacon

Beacon
Beacon to my darkness,
ever-thankful,
For your smallest care.

Beacon to ground me when I’m lost.
Kindness, the beacon
That helps me find my way.
Gets me on the right track.

Helps me find home.
Within myself.
Rooting me on,
Even from afar.

Kindness always there,
My beacon on those darkest nights.
To help me stand my ground,
Gather myself,
My thoughts.

Ever-thankful for helping me find…
Helping me find the sunlight.
That I just failed to see.

All from this.
A simple kindness.
My beacon.
Thank you.


Good shift today, good day found. Looking forward to seeing another friend tomorrow.

This is dedicated, to a friend whose never given up on me, even when I don’t know why. They should have by now. But haven’t and only offered me kindness, help and care.

Something I’ll be ever-grateful for.

Luckiest Man Alive

Luckiest man alive,

Finding someone worthwhile,

Someone to make you smile,

Even those darkest nights.

Someone to be better for,

Her smile, to make my day.

A text that makes me crumble.

Racking my mind unintentionally,

Thinking of you,

Wishing you all the best.

Wanting to see you again.

Holding on to all lessons you gave me.

All you taught me.

To all the memories we shared,

Laying in your bed,

Talking and sharing our deepest thoughts, feelings and memories.

That drunken night.

The memories of all.

Wishing I told you.

Wishing I let you know.

I’ve been the luckiest man alive to have met you,

Felt understood,

Felt kindness.

Hoping I’ve shown you the same.

As you have to me.

The luckiest man alive.

To have met you,

To have known you.

Till we meet again.

I will not fail,

I look forward.

I’ll show you,

I must.

That I care,

That…

You’ve made me the luckiest man alive.

A Future; Happy, Yet Always Sad.

Contemplating a future, not yet arrived.

The loss, the moving on.
With nothing but memories to hold on to,
Contemplating, ruminating, what will become.

A time when I am finally happy,
After so long of being lost.

I have found.
Yet lost.
Yet know what has been found.

Can finally truly be happy,
Yet always with a tinge of sadness,
Of what past,
What lost,
How different.

Sadness, bringing happiness.
A dichotomy of life,
What is to come.

I accept this.
This possible outcome, as I must.
But will fight it, for what I think can be good.

In the end, I will have found happiness, through the simplest moments.
And even in the slight sadness, it will be ever-happy,
With what it is,
What it was,
What it represents.

Am I deluded?
Perhaps.

The only devastation that can come of this,
Forgetting this true lesson.
Forgetting the memories that slip away,
Despite all my efforts to grasp.

This future, approaching me.

One of many potentialities.

Yet as it seems.

I have finally find solace, contentment.
To be happy, yet always sad…

For what had come.
What had passed.

Thankfulness to Friends Always There

Those kind souls always there,

In my times of need.

When I have nowhere.

The help steady me,

Remind me of life’s wonders, even if I’m not ready to see them.

They bless me with their company and kindness,

Unconditional and caring.

They help me.

Even as I don’t know how to help myself.

Even as I push back,

As I hurt.

They don’t give up.

Even when I think they should.

They remind me,

That I would do the same for them.

And I would.

They help,

I’m indebted.

My promise of kindness, care and help.

To whose who’ve stuck with my madness.

Always care to offer.

As they have for me.

I say goodnight now,

Knowing they have helped me.

Till the morning to see them again,

To be a better me.

To help them.

As they have helped me.

They’ve saved me from my demons,

On countless occasions.

Helped me to see the light,

When only showed the pain.

They give me, an indescribable feeling.

That. Life goes on.

That.

There is something.

That. My demons may be there.

But do not control me.

My friends. I am ever-thankful. More than human language can comprehend.

More than anything else. I am ever-grateful. For what you have given me.

It may be nothing,

This kindness, cares and compassion.

But this ‘nothing’ is more than I could ever ask for.

More that I could ever want.

And for this my friends.

You will see my eternal gratitude.

Life and Poetry

Just a small blog, contemplating poetry how I see it, how I write it, how it adds to me and how I add to it.

It is a process heavily influenced by life, and it influences my life, an outlet for all sorts of feelings, an immortalisation of feelings. Commemoration of feelings.

I find myself writing poetry regularly, as things do occur in my life and it is a great way to reflect, a great way to think, a great way to relax and ponder, a creative process that is welcome with the stresses of life.

I find myself in a situation, good, bad or any combination or other circumstance, and if I feel the need, poetry offers reflection, offers a crucial and also a link. This link between life, experiences and creative expression through poetry I cannot even comprehend.

Just a small blog about the influence of poetry on my life, how it works for me, I would love to hear anyone else on their experiences of poetry on their life.

It is amazing, it is complex, it is interesting, the formulation of ideas from experiences, the construction of expression along with the inherent biases and cumulative experiences onto a creative form.

A form that can also help others, relate to others, form connections with others and provide another level of fulfillment to my life.

Taken Aback by Kindness

I am writing this, after a close friend, offered help, support, immediately after I offered support. This taken me aback, I was happy to help, and more than happy to offer any support, but surprised (not against her, but, that I didn’t deserve such kindness, nor expected to receive such, even though I knew she has offered kindness many times before) that she did. This taken me aback by quite a lot. Made me very very happy, very grateful.


 

Taken aback by kindness, the shock, the surprise
A helping hand, offered, with kindness, with care
I did not expect this. Do I deserve this?

I help others, without any second thought.
But someone to help me?
I can’t help but ask, myself and not them.

Why?
Why would you help me?
Why would you want to?
Why am I worth helping?

I am grateful, but unsure.
Taken aback by such kindness.

Such a kind soul, throughout whatever.
I can never offer enough help to repay her,
Never offer enough kindness that I owe her.

I am just so taken aback by her kindness.

Sometimes One Day is All You Need

I wrote this reminiscing on a good day, the one described in ‘Those Happy Days’.


 

Sometimes one day is all you need:
To bring you back from the dark,
Towards the light.

To save you from yourself, from your demons, from your emotions.

Sometimes a day is all it takes, one good day, may not fix things.

But may put you on the track,
Back to the light,
Back to life,
Back to happiness,

To remind you what’s worth living for,
What’s worth fighting for,
What’s worth waiting for.

Sometimes one good day is all it takes.