Starving Pain

To rip apart,
To own and be my pain,
To show control and bend my will,
In any small way.

Wanting to rip my abdomen,
To rip and rupture.
To throw a fit.
Control through rage.
Anger seething beneath.
Anger at all the loss,
Loss of control,
Loss of life.

Anger and seething.
Wanting to claw my way into my mind,
Claw my way inside.
To rip apart,
Bit by bit.
To watch it rupture,
To watch it rupture,
To throw it out.
Stamp it out,
And crush it within hand. Crush it with all I have.
To rip,
Show my wrath and rip.
To feel the pain,
Pain briught just to feel,
Pain just so I can.

Tiring I falter,
But bring the body pain,
Such ecstacy,
To feel it,
To feel it rip itself inside to out.
Anger and sadness from one unholy match.
Wanting to rip it from itself,
Rip itself from me.

Advertisements

Rush

That rush,

The rush of your mind,

Mind racing with thoughts,

Feeling fast and intense

Nonending and strange… but nice.

Waiting to see,

Waiting and loving life,

Living and finding fulfilment in work,

Everything working out,

Sharing your mind and hearing another.

Another day in the life of this rush.

This ever-rushing flow of ideas,

A million thoughts an hour, propelling me before I even realise.

It’s funny…

These crazy rushed thoughts,

Making me feel ecstatic and unusual,

Funny, giddy and spinning.

This rush…

What a feeling!