Left Alone

Left alone,

That’s how it goes,

First to start,

Last to stop.

Left alone and predicted this,

That’s the way it goes.

The inevitable end.

The continuous path,

Expected and to be expected.

Left down, like a person with nothing left.

And loving it.

The rage and realisation.

The life and the longing.

The buildup and expectations.

The waiting and expectation.

Going on alone, as I know I must go.

The ongoing movement through time.

This onward treading.

The way it goes, and the way it must.

Ready for the shit that comes, as it always will.

No me gusta.

But that is life, the one I live.

The one I’ve been given.

The one I have and have to make.

The way I live, the way I go.

The good turning chaotic,

The way going blank.

The path turning off.

The way fading to black.

Living in the darkness and making it my own.

Owning the life that I lead.

Holding on tight to the war inside my mind.

Facing my firing squad.

Smiling in the face of it all,

In the face of the darkness and the pain.

Spitting in the face of death and darkness.

Making it mine,

Commanding it to my will and presence.

My will, it will become mine.

The path I must take,

Alone and smile.

The lonely road I walk.

To spit in the face of it all.

To face my fate,

To face my demons.

Spit in the face of it all.

The sinner of the world,

Of the darkness and the pain.

The path I walk.

The way I move.

The way I drift back and forth,

Drift off into the darkness,

Into my life eternal,

The eternal pain, ongoing and suffering.

To walk on and out,

Off into darkness.

On and off I go,

Moving on into the night.

Into the life that awaits.

This darkness I delve into,

Fight,

Rage,

Win.

Taking the pain,

Making it my own,

Making it mine.

Holding on in and through the rage.

Loving it with life as my witness.

Cutting the chord.

Stringing myself up in this life.

Loving ever second.

This rage and love,

Happiness and courage.

Weakness and strength.

Left alone, waking to my destination. The noose of the depths of the ocean.

And on I continue, left alone to my inevitable path.

Just Want To Forget.

Just want to forget,

To erase my mind,

To go on living,

As I try to make something of myself,

Get myself out of the dark ocean.

To set sail out into my world of my own.

To forget the darkness of the past,

The times to be forgotten.

To make my escape.

To start anew,

My new self, a new life.

The end of me.

Just wanting to forget, so I can escape.

Just want to forget.

Remembering The Times

Remembering the times,

Those good days,

Always a place in my mind.

The thinking, memories and the times.

Left in the feeling.

Of those good times.

The memories and places once been.

The memories and thoughts,

An ever-present reminder.

Living in the present,

Waiting for the times ahead,

Remembering those good times gone past.

A collection of memories,

A life, all on shown before me, of me.

A pleasant reminder,

Remembering the times.

Out In The Sun

Out in the sun,

Warmth on my skin,

Light all around,

A cool drink in hand.

The warm summer sun,

All good, all content.

Outside and living life,

Using the summer sun,

The endless warmth.

The cool breeze.

That summer sun and all it provides,

Out in the sun.

Another day, another time.

Another warm day out in the sun.

From the day’s sun till the dead of night.

Out in the warm summer sun.

Reminder Of Me

A reminder of me,

Who I used to be,

Free eternal, unbound and unchained.

Free-thinking, a spirit in good health.

Loving life for the friends who’ve touched me,

Those who unknowingly saved me.

To those I would do the same.

To save, to walk the ends of the earth for,

Those kind few, who reminded me of me,

Me of who I was,

Me of the worth of living.

The escape from a horrid past,

The needless pain,

To those who confirmed,

Who backed,

Those who supported.

I hold you dear.

Dear to my soul.

Dear to my being.

Those who reminded me of who I am and who I need to be, should be, will be.

Giving My All

Giving my all,

Even as it isn’t enough.

Giving my all,

To help,

To try.

To give an outlet.

To give a friendly face, a friendly embrace.

As it passes and makes a world brighter.

Even if it doesn’t help.

I give my all.

To live for the care,

To live for the friendship,

To live for helping.

To do my all.

To give my all.

All in care.

All in love. Giving my all.

To make another’s better.

To help. To love. To care.

To do all I can,

To give my all.

To make another’s world, even the smallest bit brighter.

To give my all.

To give my best.

To be who I am.

To be true to myself.

Giving my all. To help another better.

To repay the debt paid to me.

To pass it on. To pay it forward.

To make another’s life the smallest bit brighter.

To give my all to another.

To face my demons and win. To help another face theirs.

To live for all.

To give my all.

Love the hardest I can.

Live the best I can.

To try my best.

To give my best.

To try my hardest.

Giving my all. To help another through their demons.

The “Nice”Guy and his Demons.

To win and be better.

To move on, to move past.

To better.

To give my all for others,

Who make my life worth it,

Worth living.

To give my all to those I care.

To make a place.

To give all I can.

Giving all I can.

Curse of Caring

The curse of caring,

The pain of helping, but wanting to help,

But pained by it.

The dichotomies of wanting above all to help, yet hurting because of it.

Wanting to help, yet feel helpless,

Wanting to care, but always doing it wrong.

In the midst of the summer’s sun, there is a dying flower.

Within the darkness there is always some pain.

Left with the curse of caring too much,

For too many,

The curse of caring,

Left in pain, by my own hand,

With no one to turn to.

Solidarity of Friends

Solidarity of friends,

A hand on your back,

Support behind you.

Your hand, always with my support. To help you through the tough times faced.

As you have for me, over and over.

I promise my friendship.

Pledge my support.

For my dearest friend,

For all of your continued support.

Asking for help is not needed.

It’s guaranteed fully.

For life.

As long as I am here.

You helped keep me here.

And I am eternally grateful.

Without exception.

I will stand by you,

Stand with you,

Defend you,

Console you,

Help you,

Leave you.

All to care, as you have done.

I pledge my support in solidarity.

With the truest of friends.

Waiting For Your Call

Waiting for your call,

Hoping,

Happiness there in present,

Hoping,

Waiting for your call.

It may never come.

But I’ll be waiting, hoping.

I’m sorry, but this is me.

My care. My hope.

Don’t you worry, you don’t need to call.

You don’t need to worry,

Don’t need to force a call.

Just do what you have to do.

And I will do mine.

Just waiting, for your call.

Hoping it’s not in vain.

Knowing you would never hurt me,

Always caring.

I just am hoping for a call.

That may come. Or may never come.

The hope gives me something.

A happiness in waiting,

Intense feelings when fulfilled.

A reminiscent happiness that lingers after.

Knowing you are good.

Knowing you are kind.

There is this happiness in the world.

I am fine.

I will.

I am.

Waiting for your call, that may never come.

But I go on waiting, in happiness, in hope.

To hear.

That call.

Spending The Summer Sun With You

Spending the summer sun with you,

The way the sun glistens off your brunette hair,

The beauty of that summer sun,

Your radiant smile,

That cute laugh,

Warming me more than the summer sun,

Your gentle kindness,

Your passion, understanding,

Bringing me back,

Bringing me out.

You make me, the best of me.

Your emasculate eyes,

Light pools of blue,

I could swim and lose myself in them.

Your gentle skin,

A reminder of peace.

Problems fade into the daylight with you.

Life brightens with you.

Problems get solved.

It hurts to say bye,

When the summer sun fades,

The light shines through, for when we’ll share,

We’ll spend time in the summer sun,

With you.