Finding The Way

Finding the way,
The little path to go,
In the middle of the night,

A way to go,
A place to find,
Bit by bit,
Piece by piece.

Of the time,
In the present,
Calm and at peace,
Just being.

Just to find,
To make way,
To try,
So hard to just try.

In the moment,
Fleeting as it passes.
To find.

To be,
In the, in this moment.
To be okay and calm.
Even as looking back into the storm.

To find a place in being,
Uncertainty, still present.
But okay as I go on.


The last few days at work have been okay, hectic but calmer. Been doing photography everyday after work. Has been good. Went to a social for a group I found on Facebook, for photography. It was good, very nervous at first, and the youngest person there after me was 15 years older, felt a little out of place, but also not. It was good.

Feeling calmer. The emptiness I talked about before, still there, normal, but when better, it’s easier to ignore. To live in the moment. Looking forward to my best friend’s birthday.

Stuff is going okay, just okay and at peace.

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Path To Be Seen

There It is,
The path that is to be seen,
Amongst the unknown,
I can find.
I can be.

Not knowing my path,
Finding a knowing,
One that sets me free.

Seeing the world,
Seeing its normalcy,
Content,
Being and to be set free.

A path seen,
Amongst its lack of clarity.
The place found.

Finding and set free.
Set free by the casual.

Finding to be.

As the world,
Rings out.
Its confusion,
Trying to find a path,
Make a trek,
Finding,
A path,
To find,
To be,
Me.

Let it all.
Just be.
Letting it ring past.

Amongst the calm night.
It is, let be.
As I, let it be.


It’s been a good day, did a lot of photography, sorted plans for more and plans for doing my own independent research and as one of my lecturers suggested, sending a revised and added-to essay I wrote for them to a journal. Don’t have enough time, but as always I’ll make time. Also my best friend, we chatted a little today, and I’m looking forward to spending their birthday with them!

Just wrote a comment on my favourite photographer nearby’s social media.

My true aim is, to capture beauty in normalcy. Not having to go somewhere exotic or far away, you can find beauty, inspiration and pristine bliss wherever you are. You just have to look. Even if it is hard, you just have to let your mind look.

Words To The Feeling

Of it all,
Pondering,
Pain,

A world so real and full of it all,

To feel,
Be,
Validated, without intention,
Making, what was real,
More so,
A burden lifted.

Helped through the time,
To keep,
Defiance by my name.

To hold truth,
To rage and be,
To understand and feel,
Allow the pain to be real,
To heal over,
Make true.

To be.

To allow,
To heal,
Defiantly,
To rage into the pain of life.
To remember the strife,
Caused.
Broke me,
To allow me to see.

Thank you,
With all my gratitude.

Bringing forth a flame to burn bright.
Letting me see, see and see again.

There are none.
No words to express.
Words to the feeling.


Hung out with my best friend I haven’t seen in ages. They apologised for not being able to meet up, not making time. Truth is I avoided it. Needed to sort stuff out. Finally got to see them and feeling a world better.

One thing I said, they thanked me, for putting the words to the feeling, something they didn’t know how to put. And hearing that lit me up inside. Happy to help, understand and be understood. Helped to validate pain I felt without seeking, needing or wanting it.

Amazing day, work was hectic but got stuff done, felt a bit bad at work, just my mind, always trying my best and never being good enough as I want, even if others don’t think that. I do, always wanting to be better. Then seeing my friend was amazing in the silliest and mundane things but was amazing. Seeing another friend in the evening.

Feeling good and things are lifting up.

Can’t Give In

Can’t give in,
Can’t give up.

Giving up hope,
In humanity,
No matter what it shows,
Pain and life,
Of all that is inside.

Can’t give in, give up,
On human feeling,
Human being.

Feeling the world,
Running, through the skin so deep,
As it is,
Running,
Through feeling,
Being.

Remembering that human feeling,
And holding on.
Holding tight.

Letting the rains above,
As the drops hit my skin,
Rain down,
In feeling,

As all,
Leaves past,
Uncaring,
Letting the fade,
Consume,
I,
To make amends,
For the darkness letting take hold.


Amazon night out with friends, thinking, talked to a homeless guy for a bit. Thinking.

Still There

Still there,
A reminder of those times,
A time of life,
Remembering those memories,
As the feelings of euphoria have faded into time,
Fades but remembering the bliss,
In such a silly, casual moment,

Memories,
Even from afar,
Small moments,
Of abnormal normalcy,
Sweet,
Reminders,
Message goodnight,
Up late chatting,
Remembered in the time.

Hoping for the best,
A time of life,
Times being,
Yet not pretending,
Even with nervousness.

The beauty of the landscape,
The night sky before me.
As the day comes yet again.

The pull of beauty in the landscape,
A reminder,
Finding,
Losing oneself in it all.

In it all,
Worth another step,
The journey on.

Still there,
In those memories and reminders,
A future brighter,
Casual normalcy,

Moments lost,
In a new place,
Brought to,
By beauty,
And the time.
Of all those times,
The moments.

Uplifting and life-bringing.
Letting me be,

In casual normality,
I write, I capture,
Content.

Sweet Reminder

Sweet reminders,
Reminders of plans,
Times forgotten,

Easy to forget in the flow of the world,
But to remember,
To remember,
A time ahead,
To look forward to,
Time behind,
To remember.

Thoughts all in place and calmed,
To live and remember,
Through a sweet reminder.


Writing this, thinking back on last night, a sweet friend messaged me out of nowhere and we got to chatting, about all sorts and making more ideas about stuff to do together when they come and visit. It was nice and to be honest brightened up my night. Chatting about all sorts.

And On The Walk

And onto the walk,
Down another path,
Another way on,
As the calming seas crash,
The moom so bright,
Giving, unto its shine,
The world so slow,
A world, passing.

The world before,
The landscape ahead,
As it flows down.

Beauty faced,
Reserved,
Cold, back turned.

On it goes,
Landscape seen and found,
On, the time flows,
Calm in the blank skies,
A world,
Speaking,
Its secrets, life,
Calm, at the edge of the world.

Just to to stop,
Before the moment,
To see.

And the walk,
On the trek,
Blank open space,
To calm,
Tiring of the fight,
A witness to time.

The moment,
In time.

The moment,
In place.

Amidst the moon-shine.
The time,
Passing,
As a witness,
To the fight.


Today’s been a good day, an alright one. Thinking as always. Better after writing this as some friends are going out and I think I can finally go, but yeah, alright. Haven’t really done photography in a couple of days but want to get back to it on my next day off.

Out Of Nowhere, The Bright

Out of nowhere,
The bright.
Unexpected in the bright light.

Times,
Message,
Out of the blue,
As the day’s light shines,
As times,
As it flows into and through time.

What a different,
Different time,
A good day made,
Funny how these times come,
Unexpected.

Oh how the times,
Come from nowhere.
From nowhere.

Random,
What a sweet feeling,
As the night calls,
The night’s time.

Times in it all.
A calling from within,
Hope and happiness,
The random feeling.

It all and all.
Oh the calling,
As I’m reminded,
Of times to come,
Times found.

Out of nowhere,
Out of nowhere comes the bright.

Comes the bright,
The rage and will,
To take another step,
Another step into the light.


Got a very random message today, from a friend I haven’t really seen in a year, messaging that they wanted to come down and visit me for a few days at the end of the month. Both looking forward, been long overdue, and gotten to know them a lot, messaging about lots of stuff recently, has been cool and amazing.

The best things come at those times you least expect it.

The Calling

The calling,
The feeling,
Living in the day and the night.

Remembering and holding on.
All the calls,
Within the night,

As it all goes,
Hope,
Brought from within memory.

A call back,
Into the once light shine.

As this light goes.
Fueled from within,
Through the light and memory.
Hopes, through uncertainty.

Memories clear and bright as the day.
As with those sweetest memories,
To stay and keep,
To keep for and from another day.

A.
Reminder of another bright day.
Another time,
Another place,
Another feeling.
Giving me feeling in place,
Another light burning bright.

The light of another time.
Through and into calling.
Light, shining bright.

A fire to let me go on.
Hope and light,
To call me out of darkness.
Hope for light.

Calling for light, life and for another time.


Writing this, thinking, of the good thought, the good memory, of my friend who’s gone abroad, having an amazing time and the memories of those many but all too few times. Messaging late at night, all those times. Waiting for their bus with them, chatting, laughing, hanging out, nerding over our passions and past-times. Giving me some hope.

Defiant Rage

Defiant rage,
Raging out,
Defiant against the pain.

Holding on those good memories,
That warm against the fade.
Bringing with it a hold,
A grasp,
Onto reality.
Thinking, remembering.

Defiant against the pain and the haters.
To rip out the pain.
Violently I shake myself back into existence.

To remember, to feel.
Raging to feel alive,
As it burns against my skin.
Gritting my teeth.
Just to feel alive.

Bringing myself out of the pain,
Through the burning flames of the mind.

Letting the flames wrap around.
Creativity and life,
Burning deep.
Burning deep inside.

A defiant rage.
To feel,
See,
Breaking out,
Breaking apart,
To feel.

To make,
Whole.
Breaking off the past.

Remnants from a wretched existence.

Breaking free to find.
To be free.

Let it all out into the night.
Memories of that last moment,
Dark but also with its own shine.

Breaking free,
Finally,
As I remember all those sweet times,
Slight reminders,
Reminders,
Bringing me back to life.

Holding on,
To the only bright light,
That I can find,
From those depths of despair.

Passion,
Care,
At home.
Finding those moments,
Free,
Better,
Alive.

Bringing,
Bringing hope out,
Alive.

From those times,
Gone but for a little while,
But bringing life.
To feel alive again.
Reminders,
Kind, sweet, at home, and alive.
Reminder away from the pain.

The times,
Those times, those nights.
Nothing, but everything,
Everything all the same.


Feeling better, angry at the pain endured, continued, hurt but defiant all the same. Defiant to wretched pain wrought.

Defiant, but happy, remembering good memories, kindness given over a long time of being in pain. A time where I could merely be myself, open up, be nerdy and not judged. Help and in doing, also be helped. Without any intention to be helped. Kind times, just really good and nice and giving hope for the future.