Kindly Embrace

Such a kindly embrace,
A touch than cannot be described.
A feeling that picks us up.

The world gone bright, warm.
Only us.
Diving into the world,
You by my side.
Always ready to catch you,
You there to swing me.

Feeling immense.
Those casual times.
Smallest moments,
Largest feelings.

Caring for one another.
All good when I’m with you.
Ready for the new day,
Till I get to see you again.
Simple and true.

Seeing you in the morning,
Beautiful as ever,
Waking up next to you.

Seeing that smile to start my day.
Making my day.
As a smile laying next to you,
Watching you play,
A small blissful moment,
A moment of us.
Finite, neverending in memory.

A kindly embrace to all of my and your times.
The saddest nights,
Brightest days,
The stormiest depths,
And all the rest.

What a time to be alive.
Being alive.
Full of feeling.

Encapsulated by…
Encapsulated with…
Encapsulated with a kindly embrace.

Being together.

A kindly embrace.
And us together.
The world to be taken,
Step by step.
All for us.

All from a moment.
A kindly moment,
This kindly embrace.


Writing a storyesque poem, thinking of true feelings of love never felt, never felt true.

But a feeling I know, maybe knowing he best part. But the best shines bright on the worst, as long as care is there, the problems fade or at least become cope-able.

Thinking of the feeling I’m ready to give, someone who cares for me the same way.

Listening to heartfelt songs.

Thinking.

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Care for a Kind Soul

Care for a kind soul,
Someone for whom I have total care.
No matter what I feel,
How much I hurt,
Everything overshadowed by my care,
My total care, for such a kind soul.

To see you sad,
Breaks me, only trying to make you feel better.
To see you ill,
I only wanting to support, and help you get better.
To see your past linger,
To listen, in kindness, to hear you out, to know you.
To know you,
To spend the smallest silliest moments with you.

Those stupidest, sweetest moments.
That’s what make me care.
Making every sadness better,
Making me better.

All feelings, hurt, everything. All put aside.
With my care. Care for you. Total Care.

Put aside, for my care, for a kind soul.


Writing this, thinking of my feelings in a moment, seeing a dear friend, someone I totally care about. No matter how hurt I was, had been, and they made me feel better, seeing them unwell, I felt nothing but care and wanting to do whatever I could to help.

Last Good Moment

A last good moment,
Savouring every second of bliss,
The care,
The feeling.

Always hoping for your best,
And in so doing,
Showing mine.

The care,
A last good moment,
Good night,
Seeing you smile,
Lighting up my world.

Cherishing this last good moment.
In my memory.
A beautiful moment,
Many, beautiful moments.

Cherished.
Loved.
Remembered.
Kept.
Beautiful.

Kept.
Along with all those smallest moments.
The small chats,
Sweetest moments.

Some of the best memories,
I have ever made.
Some of the best moments,
I have had the pleasure of living.

Moments that will be missed.
Moments, of everything.
The last good moment.


Written. Night of the 7th December. Leaving to publish later. To see if I can, continue with more than just a memory.

Published night of the 10th, thinking, wondering, more poems for tonight, to ask and try to answer, where am I, what do I feel, what I want to do, what I should do and what do I need to do. With my closest friends saying one thing- my mind too, and my heart telling me the other.

Ponderings On Feeling

Feelings,
A thin and fragile thread.
One felt and true.

A wondering thing,
Mapping out a path,
Ending up somewhere new,
Yet also familiar.

A fragile thread,
Beautiful in its own right,
Its own shining light.

A thread, linking past and present.
Through the new ‘you’,
From the old,
On into an unknown future,
One of ‘you’.

Uncertainty abound,
A new path waiting…
Waiting to be found.

A moving and shifting space,
Tenuous at times,
Unbreakable at others,
But all nonetheless, ‘you’.

The pains, troubles, breaks and strains.
Play this string,
Add to its story.

The amazing times, bliss and beauty,
Also playing their own unique tune.

A melody of this fragile string.
A unique tune,
Forming of a unique song.
One of you,
Nevertheless true.

Many parts to a whole,
An encapsulation,
A beautiful song.

Navigating, the shrouded maps of our minds,
Along.
Our thread of feelings.


Feeling much better, after a touching inaugural lecture, got me thinking. I’m good, I’m okay, it’s just been a long tiring day…

I’m pondering feelings, of all their types. To make a complete whole.

My rapid changes of mood, make it hard. Hard to understand for me and others.

Makes it hard, makes me sad, but also just accepting me. It’s hard as no one understands. Even looking at my Moodtrack, it’s been happy, consistent but not lacking occasional fluctuations.

I’m finally happy, finally me, something I’m grateful for, grateful for finding.

Thanks to all my closest friends, R and L to name a few, and especially one, who I cannot thank enough, helping me out of my past darkness and then bringing me back a light.

We all have difficulties and troubles, good times and bad. But we can make it through,

Navigating the shrouded maps of our minds and our realities.

Too Much Care

The moment I realise my lie,
Caring too much,
Caring more than I can say.
It being unwanted?
Perhaps.

Caring alone.
Thinking of my past mistakes.
The mistake of me,
Putting in too much care.

Not realising before,

That it wasn’t wanted.

Something I tried not to see.
Because it hurt.
Thinking,
Is it worth it.

Caring when it isn’t wanted.


Overthinking, the past and present, what I should do. Just thinking . Especially when I cannot help.

Don’t worry, it’ll pass, this overthinking. As it always does.

Words of the Past

A little thread,
Moment gone true,
Out from the dark past,
A reminder, of what has made me… me.

Hurt, feeling to the core.
Formative poem,
Through and into the pain.

A reminder of the words of the past.

I wrong done.
A sin of my past,
Crime to another.

Reminder of a bad place long gone.
The reminder of how far I’ve come.

The words of the past,
Long gone,
Reminding of what has gone past.

Words of the past,
Feelings felt,
Emotional swirl.

Oh how things change.
But the words of the past?
Unchanging.
But in the past.

Left to rest,
In the setting dust of time.

The bright light over the horizon,
My path in my making.
The words of the past,
Remembered,
Reminded,
Left,
Left behind,
Into the receding night behind me.

As I move on into the light.

Leaving the words of the past behind me.


A little reminder, for me if noone else, my storyesque poems are more abstract, based in truth and abstract, about feelings, thoughts, hopes, pasts, darkness and light. This category I make to show what I’m thinking on but not feeling in the moment. An exercise in empathy, of others, made up scenarios or myself or even a past self.

Read some rough messages from the past, was feeling really really good, felt too good. I still am really good. Like the last poem. Had an idea for a storyesque poem, reaching deep into a dark past.

That’s not always a bad thing, reminding yourself of a dark past, it puts things into perspective, shows you how far you have come and how far you can still go.

I’m not feeling sad at all, I’m amazingly happy right now. Totally that I cannot even explain. Totally happy.

Hence the only reason I can reach back and see into the past and stay just as happy as I am.

Honestly can’t believe and don’t know how I have come so far, found true happiness, like I’ve never felt before.

Wish I Could Show

Wish I could show,
Show how I care,
To show what I feel.
Show what I mean.

Wish I could explain,
Explain.
Your beauty.
To show you,
How I feel,
What I mean.

Show how you make me feel,
How you make me better.
Hoping I make you happy.

This world,
Full of uncertainty,
One thing I know.
How I feel.
In a world full of uncertainty.

Should I show?
Or should I erase?
Having tried before,
It failed,
When you came back into my life.

Wish I could show.
Wishing I.
Wishing I could show you,
What I feel,
What I mean.

Wishing I could show you.

Anything For Your Happiness

Happy,
Seeing you at the bus stop,
Watching you, recede into the distance,
That golden smile on your face.
The memories flashing before my eyes, before my mind.

The hope for you,
Hope for you, to go on,
To see, feel, be.
Only thinking,
No matter what happens,
Seeing you happier,
Makes me smile too,
Even if a happy-sad tear drifts down my cheek.

The moment of sadness, aches,
But in the end,
Knowing that you’re there,
Happier,
Wanting to do anything for your happiness,
Just to see your smile.

Even if a happy-sad tear drifts down my cheek.


Writing this, listening to Happiness by Ed Sheeran. Feeling a little happy-sad, but happy overall, totally happy and ecstatic, but thinking. Love, the feeling, wanting the best for another, being happier, even if a little sad. But overall knowing the person you care about is happier, that matters the most to me.

I know this may sound sad, but it’s not. I’m just listening to a sad song and it resonated with me, got me thinking, and inspired.

I’m stronger, happier than I have ever been. Feeling totally amazing. And I’m not sad. Just totally happy.