The Simple Moment

The simple moment,
A simple time,
All laid, on the table,
Casual conversation through it all.

From nothing into being,
Casual time, after casual time.

This simple moment,
Simple, beautiful, but still so simple.
A casual being,
But made into perfection,
Through its simple nature.

Of how, you can see the world in a sunset,
On a cliff edge,
A seascape or a mountaintop.
Simple moments in time,
Simple moments of location,
Seeing purity from simplicity.
Such a casual-perfect endeavour.

When, you look, back-round.
A realisation hits of this perfection,
Nerves come around,
Kindness, unsual but found.
A simple time, able to show,
A true self buried deep.
Aspects ignored for being alone,
But now not?

These times, moments, so simple,
Yet also so perfect that it confounds my mind.
My brain, understanding the dichotomy,
While also not.
Like a puzzle when solved, but continues to pose questions.

A perfect night,
Casual night,
A mutual goodbye-hello.
From a time been waiting for ages,
While concurrently new and out-of-the-blue.

With so many chances,
Chance on chance on chance,
Making this night,
Line up,
Making us light up.

From the laughs and smiles,
The night’s remembered.
From everything and the feeling.
The night’s cherished.

From everything,
The feeling, simplicity and humanity.
The night’s legacy.

All from but a simple moment,
A night in,
Between two nerds.

Uncapturable simplicity,
Uncapturable significance
Uncapturable perfection.
Cherished in all its meaning.

Goodbye or not. The moment lives on,
A reminder of goodness,
Of all that can.

This perfect, simple moment.

Writing this, trying to capture, the feeling, thoughts, seeing my friend yesterday, for our movie night with cooked dinner and Ben & Jerry’s chats of the past, goals, achievements, dreams and so much more.

Honestly, it was so casual, so, I guess ‘nothing’ but was a perfect night. A perfect night, being able to be myself, be nerdy, chatted Pokemon, something I hadn’t really talked about in ages. Their clear nerdy but cute capability to name them all, and know all things anime. Such a simple moment. One I wished I could capture, but know before writing this that I cannot. But that, I guess, is part of the beauty, as my friend in America says, (paraphrasing/ my interpretation) that beauty comes from the fleeting moment, its being in the moment. What I wrote last night, I felt drunk, very, but totally sober, drunk on life, happy with everything, ecstatic.

Now more calm, collected but still ecstatically happy. My mind running clearer again.


Lost For Words

Lost for words
Beautiful moment.
A crystal, so much and little.
A world, inside the shard.

Casual perfection,
Precious moment,
Shared, experiencial,
A moment finite and gone.

Am lot for words,
In this moment,
Mind a blur,
Thoughts running amok.

It all.
Fleeting and perfect. It all,
The place.
It all,
That smile,
So casual,
The laughs.

Perfect, words lost me. Perfect. Aoboutely perfect. Amazing time at my friend’s house for dinner and I brought dessert, a movie, deep and varied chats. Perfect in its totality. A night to remember.

Will Miss You

To be missed,
Times gone,
The world of it all.

The times,
A moment held,
In the memory of the time.
How it all goes,
But then left, as the time comes to close.
Missing, before the end,
Anticipating, but wondering.
Thinking of the times,
Leading to this goodbye.
A simple goodbye,
To end, to cease.

This feeling,
All there is,
The memories,
Keeping in touch? Hopefully.
So much forwards.
Hoping the best,
Wishing the best,
Wishing an amazing trip.

Just as the moment fades, anticipated,
Also enshrined.

Song to Close

The song to close,
Small sadness, from it’s ever-gaze.
The song plays on,
Playing on to fade,
As the world fades,
To black.

Reminders, in their time, their place.
The mind,
Living in its wonder,
It’s saddened place.
The mixed times.
Of all this and may come.

The worries of the mind,
Broken, raging and making.
Of all the rage,
Pain and happiness through my heart.

Holding and making it all.
Raging against the life taking it all.
To stand tall,
Shout out,
Make it all.
And throw it out.

This song,
Playing to the close,
The feelings, thoughts and meaning.
A screaming rage out into the oblivion of the world.
Making it shake,
Holding it to account,
Making its infliction on me take note.

This song,
A final song to close.
Raging to make whole,
Make count,
Take notice.

The pain of living,
Life with its happiness,
Pain always there.
An experiencial, existential pain.

Taken and held to make my own.
Ripped out of me,
This song to close,
To take note,
To show,
The pain of the mind,
Its ever-screaming pain,
Only to be silenced,
In time,
To be.

My song to close.

Writing this, good, mixed, thinking, worried, thinking. Pondering. Looking forward to a date, seeing a close friend, fearful about work, my studies and the future. Uncertain and thinking until it pains me, but then I just try to focus.

Thinking of seeing my close friend, other close friends, but still the worries about the future plague me. And with this, pains from the past also flood back. My mind, wanting to rage, to shout and make count. To hold, let no one mistake, the pain inflicted. Don’t ignore the pain inflicted on another. A scar to be held, on your soul. For the hurt on another.

Life judges, the worst people will go down, their terrible natures found, for all to see.

It’s funny this mood, a great day, with my family, at a graduation, but still. Lots of things flooding back, the optimism shown today, my mind is skeptical from my experience of life recently. Thinking, painful, but thinking anyway.

For It All

For it all,
The beautiful song in the dark,
Light in the blackest of nights.

The life, left in the moment,
The poetry of time.
Life singing through all this time.

The speaking of the moment,
The life and the living,
Moments not yet spoken,
Moments in the balance,
Waiting, being.

Wanting to be better,
To show my colours shine.
To embody my world,
And make it all worthwhile.

The life to be lived and held.
A world in the making.

Always limited in the meaning,
The being,
Making of it all.

The delicate times,
Moments shared and made,
Thinking of it all,
The uncertain path ahead,
The hurt of the goodbye,
Hoping it is but for a time.

To bring, and make this time mine.

A time to shines.
To make it mine.

Writing this, thinking of my friend I’m meeting up with again, thinking about lots, the past another friend reminded me of. Lots to think of, the messages we send and make, the times we hung out. All amazing. Making me better, wanting to be better. Making me want to stretch and encompass the world.

Been talking also to my American friend, thinking, hoping that all I could do, could make them feel, even a little better. They truly deserve it. I can do nothing, but will do my all, give my all, and make it count.

Running In The Moment

Running in the moment,
Peace and turmoil,
The ever-struggle, Uncertainty within my mind.

Running in this moment,
So much to see,
Feelings abound,
A world before my eyes.
So much change,
To change,
To better it all.

Pushing the darkness to one side,
Alive by the change.
Better in the living.

Pure in the making.

That warm feeling,
The nice feeling,
Joy in the moment,
Sharing and helping.
Laughing, being in time.

Feeling really good, had a shit start to the day, but ended phenomenally good, good film with the family, pints and dinner. Remember sitting in the pub alone for a bit, thinking, you know those moments when you think of someone and sum up all the reasons and times in your own head why you love hanging out with them, even in those smallest moments.

Started writing this, messages my friend for that movie night, feeling ecstatic, also organised maybe to have an at-home movie and takeaway but also now a movie night at the cinema also!

So so funny, she replied as I started writing this, I had to take a break from the writing this as I felt to happy and excited to write or be calm haha

Awww, the feeling in this moment. I would say this feeling is what to live for, but no, this is living while the rest is waiting and looking for the next moment like this to come. Of ecstatic happiness, laughter and excitement.

The Time To Be

The time to be,
A time,
Looking forward in anticipation.
Looking forward to that moment,
That time,
So nice the chats,
All the times of the past,
Looking forward in the mind,
That time,
A time to be.

The time in the making,
All the time,
Good in every moment,
Even through the thinking,
The thinking of all to come.
It all being worth facing,
The kind feelings,
Nice moments,
All at peace,
In the most finite moments,
Beautiful times.

All being at peace,
Those nicest moments.

This time to be,
These moments,
In the making.
Feeling full,
In the moment.
Of the being.

In those moments,
On display in the mind.
In time.
Of it all.

The crossroads ahead,
Ready for it all,
While also not,
In all the uncertainty.

Okay for the coming times.
All the beauty,
Happy-sad times in the moment.
To be found in time,
Oh how it all happens,
The times and the change.

It all,
Moment by moment,
A time in feeling,
In the time.

In the.
In this,
In the time to be.

Nice, writing this, thinking of all the times to be.

All the moments, really nice day out with my dad, talked to the friend I’m meeting up for a movie night with. Quite ecstatic, chatting is always nice. Remember it exactly when I first got to chatting them. A total surprise at the first moment, chatting all nerdily about Star Wars and got to talking about so much more since. About passions, aims, experiences and it was awesome. So much since, helping, chatting. All really nice. Worried about things in the future, but this feeling. Helps to dispel the worries, thinking about all those good times.


Those times of old,
Memories held,
Times of old.

The good and bad.
A mixture of all the times,
What it all holds.

The trials and trying.
To hold.
To hold and think.
All those good times,
With the reminders,
Of those times forgotten.

The slight chances,
The changes,
The being and the times.

Oh how these times take hold,
Of it all,
How it all plays out.

Those times,
Reminders of old.
Good times and the old,
Those times of it all.

As the choir sings,
The singing of the time.
The songs of the old.

Moving on,
In the ever-expanse of time.
Oh how it is,
How it holds and is.
How it can take.

The beauty of the new,
Re-met in time.
Of all the times that may come,
May be and is.

The beauty,
Left in uncertainty,
Oh how it fades,
How it doesn’t,
Yet remains the same.

The place,
The time,
The chance.
For it all.
What these times bring.

Oh what they bring.
Chances and the times.
To be re-met in the moment,
In that time.

Had a good day, dad down to visit. Was good. Thinking of the future, the good times and the bad.

Ode To The Lost

Ode to the lost,
In time the scars heal over,
Paths find their way,
Their end,
And their shine.

Oh how it feels,
Perfect in time,
To make it all perfect.

An ode to the lost in time,
To find a way, It’ll come.
Feeling a world’s stride away,
Until found at the end of the long path.

The beauty to be found,
In a simple smile,
Kind heart,
Small deed.

Of it all.
To be found in time.
To be found,
In self,
By another,
In a world so dark,
To turn it light.
To just find the light.
Until met.

Greeted with open hands and heart.
An ode to the lost.
In time to be found.
Only a step away.

For all the lost,
To find the beauty of the emergence.
The wondrous beauty of perfection,
To be found.
In that perfect feeling,
That perfect time.

For this time,
An ode to the lost in time.

Writing this feeling good, an amazing shift with amazing people in all my job. Making me love it throughout it all, still worried about the future but knowing I can make it work. Thinking of that amazing friend I’m seeing for a movie night and haven’t seen for ages and have missed. Thinking of my American friend how I really know you can make it past all the dark times to find that shine! Feeling the demons finally subsiding, as they have before. But feeling better, more closure and knowing I am me and no reason to apologise for that, haters gonna hate and all that haha. The demons subsiding. Allowing me to shine through.

After It All

After it all,
It all and the feelings left,
The world of spleandor in the path,
A world made right.

Raging in the world to make right.

A good place to be found.
The world of the right.
Good times, good people and life.

The world,
So right in place,
Fighting to keep the light.

Trying to fight,
To keep.
To be.

In all that is thrown at me.
Trying to be.
To keep.
The light burning bright.

Holding this flame so tight.
To keep it burning bright.
Raging, to keep this light.

After it all.
To keep the light burning bright.

Stressful day, long and stressful shift at the end. But feeling really good, did all I could, tried my best and happy. So brilliantly happy. Happy and thinking of a friend and meeting up later.

So much in my future unknown, no time to try and sort it. Desperately trying. Quite worried but feeling really happy in this moment.

Glad. After it all. My friend. Many friends. And the absolutely brilliant people I work with. Made this shift brilliant, throughout the stress and worries. This is why I love working, why I love where I work. The amazing people I have gotten to know. Many different, from places and backgrounds I can never know. But all brilliant in their own brilliance.

It all will be hard. Me trying to sort out me, keeping working and chasing this future I want. But I’m amazed at the greatness of everyone I’ve managed to see. People of totally amazing quality.

Making it all worth it. So happy! So fucking worried about so much. But happy in this moment. As the worries stay. The happiness is something to hold on to, briefly. But as long as I can.

After it all.