A New Endeavour

A quick post, I’m starting another category for my blog, one that focusses on trying to find, potentially being suggested, and reviewing and reflecting on other people’s poetry.

For a while I have been wanting to look for poetry to read, but not like the First World War poets or others learnt in school, ones similar and different and also both at the same time, to mine, to gather inspiration, ideas thoughts and just to add to me.

I’m planning to ask my best friend, a literature buff to help me with this. By chance looking at lists recommending poetry I have found one that I will read some and post about.

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Kindly Embrace

Such a kindly embrace,
A touch than cannot be described.
A feeling that picks us up.

The world gone bright, warm.
Only us.
Diving into the world,
You by my side.
Always ready to catch you,
You there to swing me.

Feeling immense.
Those casual times.
Smallest moments,
Largest feelings.

Caring for one another.
All good when I’m with you.
Ready for the new day,
Till I get to see you again.
Simple and true.

Seeing you in the morning,
Beautiful as ever,
Waking up next to you.

Seeing that smile to start my day.
Making my day.
As a smile laying next to you,
Watching you play,
A small blissful moment,
A moment of us.
Finite, neverending in memory.

A kindly embrace to all of my and your times.
The saddest nights,
Brightest days,
The stormiest depths,
And all the rest.

What a time to be alive.
Being alive.
Full of feeling.

Encapsulated by…
Encapsulated with…
Encapsulated with a kindly embrace.

Being together.

A kindly embrace.
And us together.
The world to be taken,
Step by step.
All for us.

All from a moment.
A kindly moment,
This kindly embrace.


Writing a storyesque poem, thinking of true feelings of love never felt, never felt true.

But a feeling I know, maybe knowing he best part. But the best shines bright on the worst, as long as care is there, the problems fade or at least become cope-able.

Thinking of the feeling I’m ready to give, someone who cares for me the same way.

Listening to heartfelt songs.

Thinking.

Promise You

Promise you,
Care to stay,
No matter my troubles I face,
I will make it through,
To bolster myself against the demons of my past.

I promise you,
Your past,
You,
All of you,
I’m there for.

To stand by you,
In the dark, cold or rain.
To be there,
To see you smile,
That next time.

Having my own demons to face.
My own to beat.
My triumph to keep.
My promise to you, and to me.

A kindness,
Promised to you.
My care,
Promised to you.
One I’ll keep.

My promise to you.
One I’ll keep.

Wasted

Wasted, through my care.
Unrequited,
My care, empty yet felt,
Meaningful in its truth.
But lost all the same.

My feelings wasted,
My feelings spent.
Oh how I cared,
Oh how I care.

Afraid to be hurt again.
Even though I care.

Sad, that how I feel,
All of me,
Wasted.
Sad to see my feelings,
Splayed out across the wall,
The wall of my mind.
A hurtful reminder,
Wasted.

A sadness comes over me,
Seeing you,
Wanting to help you,
Wanting you happy.

But in the end.
All my feelings.
Wasted.


I know it’s a sad poem, I’m not sad, happy, had a good day and tried so hard to help a really good friend. Someone I care about with the whole world.

It’s just a moment, painful, hurtful, overthinking. It will pass, it always does. But the feelings, the care, doesn’t.

But it’s okay, I care. And it’s wasted. I’m wasted.

I Know True

Knowing true,
What I know,
My path at a crossroads,
A question mark,
In the middle of an unended sentence.

Knowing true,
Me.
Realisation under the stary-night sky.
Sitting outside, content with it all.

Knowing the truth.
My truth.
Fire burning inside.
A calling to the world.
The echoes into the world’s night sky.
Me.
Lighting it up.
Lighting it up bright.

Bring me back to the bright.
Back into the light.

The truth.
The bright realisation.

Knowing me.
Standing defiant to the cold of night.
Flame burning bright,
Never to go out.
To show the world.
A spark to ignite the flame.
To brighten up my world.

To help those in need,
My truth.
A promise to keep.

Keeping my truth, my flame,
Burning bright.

Knowing me.
Knowing my truth.
My flame burning bright.

Do You Know?

Do you know how I feel?
Do you know?
How I feel,
What I think.

Not wanting to hurt someone else,
Through how I feel.
Caring too much,
To ever hurt another.

Those amazing times hanging out.
To merely be there,
In the moment with another.
To care too much for another.

Do you know?
You need space?
You have it.
You need a call?
You have it.

I want to be there,
But also cannot as it hurts.

Hurts but those good times.
Are too good to lose.

Did you know before,
Seeing you with him,
Inviting me along to watch,
To see how you felt with him.
Did you know how I felt?
How it made me feel,
Happy, to see you happy,
Sad that it wasn’t,
Self destructive to keep watching.
All in the past now.

I am better now,
But.
Did you know?
Do you know?

I know,
I feel,
I felt.

Maybe I need to go.
But I don’t want to.
I’m so much better,
That’s the point.

I want someone who cares,
Who is there,
As they’d know I would always be for them.
Who cares.

Do you know?

Caring to Goodbye

Caring to goodbye,
An attempted end,
Seeing you, close to another,
Saddens, yet also fills me with joy.
Knowing yu can be happy,
Even as I wish I could do that.

Knowing I care,
But caring hurts.
Knowing you,
But knowing it’s not good for me.
But also it is.
The best feeling,
Unparalleled in simple beauty.
Also dark,
In the overthinking of my mind.

I will miss the good times,
The helping, understanding friend.
Who never understood,
Never will,
How much I care.

I wish you to be better,
Wanting to avoid dragging you down.
A silent, caring goodbye.
Ended but darkness.
Abrupt and unknown,
May be the best solution.

But I don’t mind.
As long as you can be happy.

I care,
No matter if I try not to.
I care,
Even if I fool myself I don’t.
I care,
Enough to a painful goodbye I’ll never say.
Never say, to help you.

Easier to forget someone you hate,
Why you make it so difficult for me.
I can never hate you.
I have tried.
I will try most likely.

Wanting to avoid, when you find someone you care for,
That will break me inside,
But also make me happy, to see you happy.
I need to escape,
To save myself the pain.

A question awaiting answer,
Put off until recently,


I am better, sad poem, maybe but I’m not sad. Sad that this may be a last goodbye, but wishing all the best and as always all my care. But I need to let go, of what is good but never true.

Again, I’m okay but need to let go, of what I hoped but is never true. To live in the light and truth.

Last Good Moment

A last good moment,
Savouring every second of bliss,
The care,
The feeling.

Always hoping for your best,
And in so doing,
Showing mine.

The care,
A last good moment,
Good night,
Seeing you smile,
Lighting up my world.

Cherishing this last good moment.
In my memory.
A beautiful moment,
Many, beautiful moments.

Cherished.
Loved.
Remembered.
Kept.
Beautiful.

Kept.
Along with all those smallest moments.
The small chats,
Sweetest moments.

Some of the best memories,
I have ever made.
Some of the best moments,
I have had the pleasure of living.

Moments that will be missed.
Moments, of everything.
The last good moment.


Written. Night of the 7th December. Leaving to publish later. To see if I can, continue with more than just a memory.

Published night of the 10th, thinking, wondering, more poems for tonight, to ask and try to answer, where am I, what do I feel, what I want to do, what I should do and what do I need to do. With my closest friends saying one thing- my mind too, and my heart telling me the other.

A Goodbye I Am Reluctant to Say

A goodbye I am reluctant to say.
A goodbye, I knew may come,
But never wanted to,
Always put off.

The pain of letting go,
Someone you care about,
Someone whose happiness makes you’re day all that better.

Someone to talk with,
Laugh with.
And smile with.

But what if it’s all based on a lie?
A lie I tell,
To put aside the pain,
For a time.

I never want to hurt you.
That’s the last thing I want.
Maybe I should have said goodbye sooner,
The goodbye I am reluctant to say.
To spare you pain.
Or maybe you will feel none,
I surely hope you don’t.
No matter what I end up feeling.

A care, once given,
Always present,
But only can be from afar.

I care, always do, no matter what I show,
But hating, is the best way to shield from the pain.
The pain of caring.

I feel clear,
Yet also conflicted,
Thinking back the night,
The times all these years,
Remembering all the smallest details,
Just thinking of you.

I must say goodbye,
One I am reluctant to say.
Have always been reluctant to say.
My feelings,
They hurt me so.
While you don’t feel the same.

I understand,
But please leave me to heal,
Let me leave.
Let me live.

This is heartbreaking to say,
And as I type, reluctant.
Thinking of the memories,
Staying,
But the feelings slowly erasing.
I only feel sad.
Sad for my loss.
Loss of a friend,
Loss of a person I care about.

But as you’ve said.
Sometimes you have to let go,
To collect,
To heal,
To move on and be better.

That is what I have to do.
I’ve known for a while.

I have been better than before,
But the feelings won’t fade,
While I’m still around you.
I’ve known that since the start.

You’ll never know how much I cared,
How much I care.
I cannot explain with language.

But no matter,
I must go.
A goodbye, I am ever-so reluctant to say.
That committing the words is difficult.

Never wanting this poem to end.
Never wanting this goodbye to be said.

But seeing no other option.
All my closest friends telling me to get out.
Caring as though they are,
They don’t understand.

The main reason,
For this goodbye I am reluctant to say.
For you to be better,
To be unburdened by pain,
Pain that will come,
Sooner or later.
From my caring heart,
Too big for a single person to hold, but I do.
Wanting you.

To have the best.
Be the best.
And I fear deeply, that this means goodbye.

The goodbye. I am most reluctant to say.


Writing, with thanks to a few close friends, helping me to see what I should have. Helping me out when I needed it.

I had an amazing night with rough parts, sorry to say goodbye. Sorry for that. I always give my best and forget to make myself okay, always putting another first. For if you care about someone, that’s what you do, for a time. But this is totally like that. It is good most of the times, amazing even, but others, it breaks me apart. Even if these feelings are almost all good, I’m sick of lies, sick of trying to convince myself of hope or a lie I do not truly believe but want to.

My favourite quote ever, made by myself, before, thinking of the same person, paraphrasing, it goes like “I would face my demons, just so I could help you face yours”. This holds true. This holds true. But I have come to realise, with this one-way feeling, that I cannot face my demons, without saying goodbye to you, but I’ll always be hoping you face yours and win. Hoping you succeed. Will always be a call away in your time of darkest need. As, I always care, I always will.

Thinking of the singing tonight, the small things you said, how you do not care like I do. That’s fine. But I must get out.
I have deleted the poems written tonight in pain,
Instead to write true from my heart and mind.

Only sad to see it end,
Sad to see it end on this note.
Only hoping for your best.

I can write for hours and not say what I truly feel, what I truly want to say.
But I try.

I have been better recently, so much so, even if my poetry tonight and recently do not show. But, this is why I know I do need to leave. Do need to say goodbye. To avoid a dark place. As I come to realise, you do not care about me like I do you. I don’t have any blame to give. But I need to, find space to live.

I have a christmas present I still want to give, a small something, not about me, or us, but you. Something I hope you’d let me. But I guess that’s to be seen, or not.

Wishing you, the very best, something I know you can and will succeed.
I’m only saddened by the times, to be lost, past and future.
Saddened that I cannot be there to witness, your success.

Even after publishing I do not know if I really want to say this.
But you deserve the truth.
I hope to ever bone not to cause you any pain.
I’d rather anything and everything else.

But in the end,
I guess this is what makes this,
A goodbye I am so reluctant to say.

Written. Night of the 7th December. Leaving to publish later. To see if I can carry on without the saddest goodbye. I do not want to say.

Published, night of the 10th December, a record of how I felt. With recent happenings, chats, amazing times making it all complicated. But also amazing.