The Meaning

The meaning,
The being, place and life.
All for something and all of me.

The place of meaning, life and living.
Placed in a world of being, of staying.

My meaning and place. My comfort and solace.

My place being and moment.

The place I feel at home.
The place to escape my torture.

My place, accepting, my being and place.

My world and my being,
To my shaping.
To my creation.

Shaped into comfort and satisfaction.

My meaning,
My world made whole,
My creation of the meaning,
Not there to begin with.

Numbing The Pain

Numbing the pain,

Feeling empty,

Dark and cold, all around, to the touch.

Mindless monster, dead being.

Trudging on, unfeeling, numb.

A wreck of the past.

A wound on the world.

A chasm of despair.

The state of being, pain at losing life’s treasures held close.

Ripped from the arms,

Followed by the dark storm, the empty silence and coldness.

Piercing and digging like razors, sharp tendrils into by abdomen. Into my heart and core.

But…

But.

I feel nothing, numbness to pain that comes from its constancy.

Numbing my pain.

Bringing it in. Bringing it close.

Fully reckoning it.

Feeling it.

Until that is all I am.

A numbed pain. Constant. A broken thing. A wound of existence. A storm of calm rage. Outside Alice, while dead inside.

Lone Figure

Lone figure in the landscape.

Sitting on the dark steps.

Pondering the world gone past.

The icy air flowing past,

Dark trees on the horizon,

Night skies, all to be seen.

Alone in existence.

Sitting among the world.

Untouched in the dark.

A wound in life.

The darkness, the only friend, solo comfort.

The lonely figure with only the dark to call upon.

Strength to be found in the dark.

Strength in solitude,

Content in my solitude.

The lone figure.

In solitude. The figures moves on. Into further darkness.

To greet the darkness of the horizon.

Black Pearl Of Night

The darkness smooth of night,

Patterns in the dark sky,

The silent night.

The emptiness and the dark.

The smoothness formed from irritation.

The blackness imparted on the rest of the world.

A different form from the day,

Small lights peppered across the landscape.

A dark silence echoed,

A world untouched by light.

The dark rolling hills,

The echoes of human steps taken in the human day.

Echoes of people unknown,

Activities of humans once passed.

Left empty and barren,

The dark wastelands.

The ice cold wind.

The scars left from day,

A counterpoint from the silent empty night.

The lonesome night.

The silent dark night..

The echoes left from day.

To the black pearl of night.

The silence.

The emptiness of space,

The solo existence in this emptiness of night.

Alone in the dark,

The only person in existence.

The solitude of my thoughts.

Left to the darkness,

This black pearl of night.

Empty, alone, silent, and solo.

The dark shadow cast upon,

The rest of the world, dark and empty,

Eternal. Empty. A mere echo.

A black pearl,

In its dark beauty.

Its dark radiant shine.

The dark storm encircling inside.

Black and dark like the inside of my mind,

Silent and in solitude, like the confines of my mind.

A barren blackness, a counterpart to life.

This black pearl I’ve found.

The silence I live.

Mine to hold,

Before the black sky.

This black pearl I’ve found.

Left forgotten.

This black pearl I’ve found.

The black pearl of my life.

Broken Echoes

Broken echoes,

Of my past,

The mistakes made and continued.

Trusting those who leave me down.

Those I once thought to trust,

Who continue to forget me,

As people do.

Left, as a broken echo to the world.

Drowning out reality.

Drowning out the song of life, as a broken echo.

A ghost of the now,

Cut off off from the world.

Cut out of existence.

Left with this reminder. The broken echo that follows.

The empty words given,

And retracted from me with a sharp pain.

The deceiving smile, of a friend held dear.

Left with this broken echo.

A dear reminder,

Of the pain following trust,

The hurt following friendship.

The lies given without care,

Left in this broken echo.

The repeating sound,

Through the repeated lies.

The broken echo as my reminder.

The times enthusiastically waiting for,

Not given a simple truth. To solidify the pain,

Yet left with the repeating echo.

To grasp me,

Encapsulate me.

Bring me peace.

Not wanting to bring pain or inconvenience.

But being left waiting.

In this broken echo.

My fault for trusting in a friend,

Caring, yet wondering.

Through this broken echo.

Me, a broken echo.

A path once taken,

Me. The ongoing problem.

Me. The broken echo.

Better left forgotten.

Arms Outstretched

Arms outstretched,

The time gone past,

Arms outstretched in comfort, in care.

In love, life and feeling.

In ecstatic feeling of content,

The ups and downs to be weathered.

The life with its arms outstretched.

To find the diamond in the rough.

The times there,

My path outstretched.

Open and to be mapped,

My course in the making.

My openness and care,

My kindness,

The care shown, care felt.

The life’s course,

To stand by what is right,

No matter who says you are wrong.

To live a life of care, kindness and love.

Touching people’s lives as I hope to feel.

To offer kindness and solace,

A warm embrace and kindness with care.

Confidence in who I am.

In who I can become.

No matter who stands in my way.

No matter the challenge to my kindness and care.

I am who I am and proud.

My arms outstretched,

The future to greet, embrace and hold.

To stand and be proud.

To take my future, life and goals.

To make them my own.

To make them whole.

To embrace the feeling.

To leave the obstacles behind,

Confined to my past,

The darkness pushed aside,

To live out what I can be, do and feel.

My arms outstretched to embrace the future I make before me.

My arms outstretched. To make my own path.

To make and embrace the future before me.

Lessons from the Past

Lessons from the past,

The intricate path taken,

My intricate path walked,

The twists and turns,

The path walked, the path lived.

The path I take for my own.

The way I move,

The way I am.

The mistakes once made,

The faults of my past and my mind.

The path I forge towards my future.

Bright and determined,

Persevering to achieve what I need, what I am.

Forging my path ahead,

Through what I must,

Through what I am.

To what I can be, what I can do:

What I can achieve.

My determination pronounced.

The path I must take.

The way I walk with determination into the coming future.

Confining my mistakes to the past.

Mistakes made and a future to be found.

To be made.

To overcome my limitations.

To learn from these lessons from my past, from within.

To forge my future, my path.

Through those lessons from within.

Those lessons from my past.

Life In The Greyscale

Life in the greyscale,

Passing by the sights,

Unable to feel the warmth, smell the scents, see the sights.

Living in the greyscale,
Devoid of colour,
All in grey.

I’ve realised life,
For what it is,
A lie or greyscale.

What many have tried to show me,
To get me to see the meaning,
To be content.

They misunderstand me,
Not to be content with a lie,
Even a beneficial one,
Now I’m left in the greyscale.

Thrown to the sharks of life,
By my friends,
Left to starve,
Left in torture,
Left without meaning, feeling, or acceptance.

By those who I’d give everything to.

Left in disappointment.

Looking for an answer,
But always confronted by the greyscale.

Left in the rain,
Unfeeling,
Watching,
Seeing, but unfeeling.

As I walk through the greyscale.

The life that unfurls before me.

All grey, watched as it passes, but unfelt.

Intriguing but incomprehensible.

Empty and grey.

Thrown away from possible lies,
Acknowledging the greyscale,
Others wanted me to acknowledge:

Life rather than kindness,
Reality rather than care
Limitations rather than desires.

They threw me under,
Thrust the knife so deep.
Left me with nothing.

Less than nothing.

Left with nothingness in face of everything.

The fault of those who threw me to the greyscale.

Who ridiculed me. Who belittled me.

Trying to hold on. Determined to launch out, to break forth.

But for now,
I live,
In this life of greyscale.

Future looking up

The future looking up,

The complex reality.

The bright days ahead,

Troubles to be faced,

To be overcome,

I will prevail.

Those times ahead,

For me to own,

For me to prevail, conquer and make my own.

To seize the day,

Form my path.

Looking bright,

In defiance of the darkness.

Untouchable by my demons.

Breaking free from the shackles of pain, uncertainty.

Making certain my path once drifting on sand.

To cement my path,

My reality.

Making certain what was shrouded by darkness.

Walking into the bright sunlight.

Untouchable by my darkness.

By living in the life,

Letting it fill me 

As the future looks up.

I rise claim it.

Screaming At Your Own Confines

My screams at my own confines.

The walls closing in,

The pain drowning out.

No one to help,

No where to go.

Alone in the confines of my self.

Left confused and looking,

In desperation for a solution.

In desperation for help.

Looking and tearing apart my mind and thoughts.

Looking for a way out, a solution.

An escape.

Some help.

A friend to talk to, in my depths of loneliness.

Even as no one can help,

No one can understand.

What is raging in my mind:

The worry and uncertainty.

The longed for solution,

To my panicked fright,

The looming unknown.

The raging desperation,

Dripping from my mind.

Sapping me dry.

Exhausting my being.

Screaming at the confines with no escape.

Screaming at the being that confines me.

The reality that drains me.

The hurt that kills me,

The world that tears me.

The confines from within my mind,

No help to be found, no solace.

No place to find a solution.

No place to find my escape.

The uncertainty drawing on my mind.

Ripping apart my thoughts,

Focussing my pain.

Sharpening my worry.

Keeping me to the confines,

The chains I try to break.

The walls I try to shout down.

Left screaming at my own confines that keep me, the worries that pains me.