I Know True

Knowing true,
What I know,
My path at a crossroads,
A question mark,
In the middle of an unended sentence.

Knowing true,
Me.
Realisation under the stary-night sky.
Sitting outside, content with it all.

Knowing the truth.
My truth.
Fire burning inside.
A calling to the world.
The echoes into the world’s night sky.
Me.
Lighting it up.
Lighting it up bright.

Bring me back to the bright.
Back into the light.

The truth.
The bright realisation.

Knowing me.
Standing defiant to the cold of night.
Flame burning bright,
Never to go out.
To show the world.
A spark to ignite the flame.
To brighten up my world.

To help those in need,
My truth.
A promise to keep.

Keeping my truth, my flame,
Burning bright.

Knowing me.
Knowing my truth.
My flame burning bright.

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Caring to Goodbye

Caring to goodbye,
An attempted end,
Seeing you, close to another,
Saddens, yet also fills me with joy.
Knowing yu can be happy,
Even as I wish I could do that.

Knowing I care,
But caring hurts.
Knowing you,
But knowing it’s not good for me.
But also it is.
The best feeling,
Unparalleled in simple beauty.
Also dark,
In the overthinking of my mind.

I will miss the good times,
The helping, understanding friend.
Who never understood,
Never will,
How much I care.

I wish you to be better,
Wanting to avoid dragging you down.
A silent, caring goodbye.
Ended but darkness.
Abrupt and unknown,
May be the best solution.

But I don’t mind.
As long as you can be happy.

I care,
No matter if I try not to.
I care,
Even if I fool myself I don’t.
I care,
Enough to a painful goodbye I’ll never say.
Never say, to help you.

Easier to forget someone you hate,
Why you make it so difficult for me.
I can never hate you.
I have tried.
I will try most likely.

Wanting to avoid, when you find someone you care for,
That will break me inside,
But also make me happy, to see you happy.
I need to escape,
To save myself the pain.

A question awaiting answer,
Put off until recently,


I am better, sad poem, maybe but I’m not sad. Sad that this may be a last goodbye, but wishing all the best and as always all my care. But I need to let go, of what is good but never true.

Again, I’m okay but need to let go, of what I hoped but is never true. To live in the light and truth.

Last Good Moment

A last good moment,
Savouring every second of bliss,
The care,
The feeling.

Always hoping for your best,
And in so doing,
Showing mine.

The care,
A last good moment,
Good night,
Seeing you smile,
Lighting up my world.

Cherishing this last good moment.
In my memory.
A beautiful moment,
Many, beautiful moments.

Cherished.
Loved.
Remembered.
Kept.
Beautiful.

Kept.
Along with all those smallest moments.
The small chats,
Sweetest moments.

Some of the best memories,
I have ever made.
Some of the best moments,
I have had the pleasure of living.

Moments that will be missed.
Moments, of everything.
The last good moment.


Written. Night of the 7th December. Leaving to publish later. To see if I can, continue with more than just a memory.

Published night of the 10th, thinking, wondering, more poems for tonight, to ask and try to answer, where am I, what do I feel, what I want to do, what I should do and what do I need to do. With my closest friends saying one thing- my mind too, and my heart telling me the other.

Ponderings On Feeling

Feelings,
A thin and fragile thread.
One felt and true.

A wondering thing,
Mapping out a path,
Ending up somewhere new,
Yet also familiar.

A fragile thread,
Beautiful in its own right,
Its own shining light.

A thread, linking past and present.
Through the new ‘you’,
From the old,
On into an unknown future,
One of ‘you’.

Uncertainty abound,
A new path waiting…
Waiting to be found.

A moving and shifting space,
Tenuous at times,
Unbreakable at others,
But all nonetheless, ‘you’.

The pains, troubles, breaks and strains.
Play this string,
Add to its story.

The amazing times, bliss and beauty,
Also playing their own unique tune.

A melody of this fragile string.
A unique tune,
Forming of a unique song.
One of you,
Nevertheless true.

Many parts to a whole,
An encapsulation,
A beautiful song.

Navigating, the shrouded maps of our minds,
Along.
Our thread of feelings.


Feeling much better, after a touching inaugural lecture, got me thinking. I’m good, I’m okay, it’s just been a long tiring day…

I’m pondering feelings, of all their types. To make a complete whole.

My rapid changes of mood, make it hard. Hard to understand for me and others.

Makes it hard, makes me sad, but also just accepting me. It’s hard as no one understands. Even looking at my Moodtrack, it’s been happy, consistent but not lacking occasional fluctuations.

I’m finally happy, finally me, something I’m grateful for, grateful for finding.

Thanks to all my closest friends, R and L to name a few, and especially one, who I cannot thank enough, helping me out of my past darkness and then bringing me back a light.

We all have difficulties and troubles, good times and bad. But we can make it through,

Navigating the shrouded maps of our minds and our realities.

Too Much Care

The moment I realise my lie,
Caring too much,
Caring more than I can say.
It being unwanted?
Perhaps.

Caring alone.
Thinking of my past mistakes.
The mistake of me,
Putting in too much care.

Not realising before,

That it wasn’t wanted.

Something I tried not to see.
Because it hurt.
Thinking,
Is it worth it.

Caring when it isn’t wanted.


Overthinking, the past and present, what I should do. Just thinking . Especially when I cannot help.

Don’t worry, it’ll pass, this overthinking. As it always does.

Words of the Past

A little thread,
Moment gone true,
Out from the dark past,
A reminder, of what has made me… me.

Hurt, feeling to the core.
Formative poem,
Through and into the pain.

A reminder of the words of the past.

I wrong done.
A sin of my past,
Crime to another.

Reminder of a bad place long gone.
The reminder of how far I’ve come.

The words of the past,
Long gone,
Reminding of what has gone past.

Words of the past,
Feelings felt,
Emotional swirl.

Oh how things change.
But the words of the past?
Unchanging.
But in the past.

Left to rest,
In the setting dust of time.

The bright light over the horizon,
My path in my making.
The words of the past,
Remembered,
Reminded,
Left,
Left behind,
Into the receding night behind me.

As I move on into the light.

Leaving the words of the past behind me.


A little reminder, for me if noone else, my storyesque poems are more abstract, based in truth and abstract, about feelings, thoughts, hopes, pasts, darkness and light. This category I make to show what I’m thinking on but not feeling in the moment. An exercise in empathy, of others, made up scenarios or myself or even a past self.

Read some rough messages from the past, was feeling really really good, felt too good. I still am really good. Like the last poem. Had an idea for a storyesque poem, reaching deep into a dark past.

That’s not always a bad thing, reminding yourself of a dark past, it puts things into perspective, shows you how far you have come and how far you can still go.

I’m not feeling sad at all, I’m amazingly happy right now. Totally that I cannot even explain. Totally happy.

Hence the only reason I can reach back and see into the past and stay just as happy as I am.

Honestly can’t believe and don’t know how I have come so far, found true happiness, like I’ve never felt before.

How You Capture Me

Out of nowhere, you grab me.
A message and you’ve captured me.
You.
Just you.

You and your radiant beauty.
Without even trying.

Capturing me,
Mind, body and soul.
Your; mind body and soul.

Your simple, natural, whole beauty.
It’s just you.

Your natural shine,
Bright smile,
Cute face.
Perfection whole.
Perfection true.
Perfect you.

How you capture me,
In all those simple ways,
Simple, beautiful ways so true.

You capture me whole,
Capture me true.

How you capture me.


Written listening to Little Things by One Direction, their only song I like.

Another love poem, poem spurred by a kind, sweet message. One beautiful, natural and true.

Wish I Could Show

Wish I could show,
Show how I care,
To show what I feel.
Show what I mean.

Wish I could explain,
Explain.
Your beauty.
To show you,
How I feel,
What I mean.

Show how you make me feel,
How you make me better.
Hoping I make you happy.

This world,
Full of uncertainty,
One thing I know.
How I feel.
In a world full of uncertainty.

Should I show?
Or should I erase?
Having tried before,
It failed,
When you came back into my life.

Wish I could show.
Wishing I.
Wishing I could show you,
What I feel,
What I mean.

Wishing I could show you.