New Finding

Those new findings,
Unexpected and amazing,
To capture the self.

Anything to capture that feeling.
To make anew,
Myself and it all.

Losing sleep in glee.
The amazing moments,
Those unexpected moments
Coming out of nowhere.

How does this new finding
Make anew, the place to be.
A new being.
Unexpected and found.

Totally found.
This new finding,
Unexpected being.

Those times to make you smile,
Unconditionally,
Totally.
Through the new finding.

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Unexpected Times

Unexpected times,
Full of mystery.
Times unknown,
To the touch.

Times that cannot held.
Mystery surrounding.

Those times made from nothing unexpected and out of sync.
Times that cannot be held.
Those times that come from without.

A time out of nothing.
Born is living.
The lives met, the lives touched.

From a mere moment of uncertainty.
The world is made.
A place gotten from the cloud of uncertainty.
A gift out of nowhere.

What has been found,
Through the finding.
What has come.
Out of nowhere.
What has come.
The meaning,
That living.

Those random times to make it all.
To grasp and hold.
To make true and run.

That golden feeling.
Found in those unexpected and uncertain times.
Making true,
Making whole.

Wasting no moment,
Of these expected times.
The parties, laughs and meaning.
These unexpected times.

How they mark.
Leave their mark.
Make their value.
Make you whole.

All from an unexpected moment,
An unexpected time.

Your Day Spent With You

The moment has arrived,
Your day,
The one you’ve looked forward to,
And dreaded.

Never doubted you,
Not for a second,
Your hard work and diligence.
A day for you,
The day has come,
And tall you’ll shine.

A show to the world, and yourself.
Only wished I could spend it with you.
All leading to this moment.

Your moment,
Your time,
Never to be forgotten.

Your hard work shown,
A time for your recognition.
Only wishing to spend it with you.

To live the moment with you,
The feelings,
The care.

The time in the making.
Your time,
I wished I could make it better.

No matter,
I’ll be there,
In spirit, compassion and support.

Your day, wanting to spend it with you.

Gentle Reminder

The gentle reminder,
All found in place,
That gentle reminder.

The world gone bright,
The times to come.

The reminder comes,
In those bright days,
And the dark of night.
All to come,
Worth the wait,
Worth the while.

A gentle reminder.
Those fondest of memories.
The beautiful times.
To last a lifetime.
To hold onto.
To cherish.

Worth the struggles and the pain.
Worth the fondness,
To send an occasional message.
To brighten my day,
And another’s.

The gentle reminder,
The brighter day,
Memories, hopes and determination.

Thoughts unable to comprehend.
Happiness in unknown form, unknown quantities.

The beauty, behind the sunrise.
Of a blossoming flower,
Of the deepest purple of dusk.

Oh how is such beauty made real,
This world shown to me.

The possibilities open.
A path unknown,
Yet also clear.

This gentle reminder of being,
Of feeling
Of making.

This gentle reminder.

My gentle reminder.

Fighting The Demons

Fighting off the demons,
The corrupting influences,
A dark force to throw off.
A bringer of only suffering.

A powerless entity,
As I drain them of all power,
Collect my life,
Make it my own.
Bring on the coming future.
Casting out the corruption.

Detoxifying my life of all the darkness,
That the demons use to cling hold,
I’ve found freedom from the darkness.
Claimed light for my own.

Many pieces coming together,
Forming a whole,
Forming coherency,
And a brightness not seen in a while.

Such a long time I was in the dark,
Having lost the light.
Being broken, lost, hurt and inflictng what the demons taught me.
To be cast off,
I now have choice, agency.
To cast out corruption,
To throw the demons aside.

Here I fight,
To claim a happiness once lost.
To find peace, in a tumultous world.
To find love in all things pure,
As it has found me in the unexpected places.

The demons now have no hold.
Yet they will be, an ever-formative part.
Kept in check.
But having made me stronger,
Made me wiser.
Given me great pain.
I will keep them in check,
Cast them out.

Fighting these demons. I win.
Living the life I have found.
Fighting off the demons that still seek to destroy me.

Fighting off the demons.

Poetry and One Year On

Hello everyone,

Wished I was feeling in better spirits when writing this, but can’t help it. I’m glad WordPress told me it’s my one year anniversary on WordPress, honestly cannot believe it’s been a year.

So much has happened, so much has changed.

I have been through a lot, lots of stuff has changed, lots of things all running through my head.

Poetry has made it all much more bearable, even being a compulsion of mine, something I intend to continue, so long as I have feelings to describe, understand and make sense of.

Thank you to all the good people who have had many kind words to say about my work, kind people who listened, read, messaged me and gave me kind messages!

If I had known today was the anniversary, 15 minutes before the day was over and with work in 6 hours I would have planned something larger. Maybe tomorrow.

But thanks to everyone.
Helping me when I was trapped in a dark place.

Finally found a way out.

Still get good and bad days as everyone does and will so long as you’re human. But I’m moving along, better, even despite being sad tonight, have a great friend to hold on to, hold out for and hang out with.

My studies are going really well, confirmation of an aim I’ve had for a long while and committed to it fully.

My close friend helped me (unknowingly) find a better work-life balance, writing positive poetry, but they showed me. The positive things to see.

Things will go up and down.
Things will at times be difficult.

But I can.

All my WordPress family I believe in, no matter what you are going through, I hope and wish you well. To fight your demons as I have fought mine.

On a side note, feeling slightly better after writing this, found the words to a poem I had the title for, and thought of another while writing this!

The Lonely Silence Of The Dark

Lonely silence of the dark,
The dark days gone past,
Those yet to come,

Waiting for those light days, the ones to look forward to.
To hope for,
To live for.

When the darkness of the night is all around,
With silence as the figure lurking in the dark.
The depths of night.
An impenetrable shroud;
Thick, dark, all-consuming.
Suffocating at a touch.

The feeling of life,
The memories returning,
But only for a time.
The deep sadness,
To accompany the lonely silence of the dark.

Out Of Mind

Out of mind,
I hide the feelings,
Scared of where they could take me,
Offered care and kindness.

Trying to keep the pain out of my mind.
To keep in the happiness,
A game of pretend,
To ignore my mind and emotions.
The pain that comes with darkness.
The shining light, that echoes in the darkness.

The mind, clouded with worry, sadness and uncertainty.
Trying to push all feelings out of mind.
Trying to save myself from my demons.

An attempt to hold strong against the dark.
To keep the leeches at bay.
To wipe my mind,
To save the body.

Out of mind is the answer,
Or it must be,
The solution I face,
Only way past it.

Out of mind.
To cope, to save me.

Beautiful Mind

Your beautiful mind,
A world encapsulated,
Pretty and intelligent,
A beautiful mind and kind.

Open, free and radiant.
Funny,
Even to force a smile out of me.

Gentle to the touch,
Deep and thoughtful.

Beauty unquestionable,
Most important,
The mind and heart of gold.
A mind open, smart and capturing.
A heart, kind, sweet and deep.

A beautiful mind,
Trapped in a world-
Unable to compete.

The kindness there,
Worth waiting for,
Left to make my own way,
Hoping for the next day,
To see you, hear your voice.

Here I am,
Happy.
Even when losing my way,
I think back to you,
Your beautiful mind,
The advice you gave.

Oh how I’m stuck in wonder,
At your beautiful mind.

Rift

Rift running deep,
Evicerated by the thoughts.
Turmoil of emotiness,
The rage in the quiet.

The silent darkness,
Walking through the dark alone,
The darkness my home.
Defiant and strong.
The rage my instrument

Thinking of time.
Confined to the mind.
Emptying out my pain.
Filling it with rage,
Turning it empty.

Myself, a dark night,
Dimly lamp-lit.
A figure stabdibg on the corner.

Silently watching,
Everything let go.
The darkness, the silence and emptiness all a familiar friend.

Friends unfamiliar,
Living without seeing.
Unable to help regardless.

A confusing state,
This rift.
Rift of mind,
Rift of sight,
Of being and of thinking.

Left to the black emptiness.
Somehow tricking myself into and out of feeling.

An emptiness without sadness,
Without happiness.
Mere being.

Sad words to others,
For me, a state i understand,
A state i cannot feel,
This rift within me.