The Silence Of Life

The silence of life, of the night.
The beauty of a brief glimpse of time.
Glimpse of the time.
Of all those times,
Reminders.
All that glimpse.

As the night comes in,
Silence falls over,
The darkness, the calm.
As the life flows.
Time slows,
Time grows on.

And here I sit,
Wondering,
Sitting, in time,
In time, again.
In time.

Life flows by.
And I, a witness.
To watch it flow.
To be there, in the time.

As the sounds of the sea just flows,
Exists in their own time.
And life, flows past.
A confusing jumble,
A path that goes.

As the sea is calm.
No ripples in sight.
The reflection of the moon,
A reflection on life,
On all those times.

A reflection,
An embodiment,
Those times,
Flow by, and fade.
But I, am still here.
I continue,
To sit here and witness.

I witness and sit,
Being in place.

Being in place.

Sitting and watching the world go by.
In the calm, the peace and solitude of night.

Watching the lights of the world,
Continue in time.
And I,
Sit here,
To witness,
A mark left,
Upon a moment in time.

Sitting, reflecting,
Pondering and being in time.
I am here.
In time I continue.

I am to witness.

As it all fades,
As it all continues again.

And I am here to witness.

Remembering, upon a time.
Sitting in that same spot.
Remembering, upon a time.
As the time, fades, into time.
I remember, I keep.
As it fades,
In spite of it fading.

Remembering,
All the times that passed.

As I sit in place.

And continue.

As all time flows by.
Feeling sad? Not feeling anything? Feeling calm?
I cannot tell.

But at peace.
In being in the finite space of time,
As the world revolves.

As time is moving in its place.
And I just can’t help, but watch,
Continue, to feel, and be.

But I sit here,
On this once upon a time spot.
And chill,
Watching as times flows, like these sea waves gently come and go.
As the sky paints it’s art through light.
As the city lights paint their own in response.
And I just continue,
Watching the dance,
Between the moon and sky; and the city of lights.

And then the thought comes back.
Thinking of that, once upon a time.
I remember clearly.
Calm and in the moment,
Present and past.

Seeing the day,
The time,
And its pass.

Watching, and wondering.
As goes,
This story of life.
Watching, life.
Flow, pass, before the moon’s light.

Forever changed,
In so many ways in this life.
In all so many ways.

And I sit, continue, watch and see.
Seeing life.
Seeing, the time.
Giving me life,
In this time.

As I watch, and see,
In this time.

Wonderment

Left up,
Waiting and wondering,
Thinking on and on.

Thinking,
On and on,
Up I think and wonder,
As,
I just think.

As I look up and wonder,
Unto this world,
Thinking,
In place,
Thinking,
Wondering.

I stay.
Up looking into the stars,

Calm in a moment,
Just thinking and wondering.


Feeling better, a day of a little photography and sorting some stuff out. And watching a tv series a friend got me into.

Looking Out, Over Into

As I stand in this moment,
Looking out into,
A world broken,
But at peace,
With the darkness in sight,
In the midnight light.

The mind,
The darkness,
The careful walk,
The knowing tread,
Towards and into.

Looking out at the lights any they looking back.

Into the beyond.
Beyond it all.
And all is left is black,
But that’s fine,
That’s to be expected,
From one who chooses to tread.
Into the darkness ahead.
An unconscious choice,
Always trying to help,
But I can’t,
So it seems.

Seeing the dark,
You are a way away.

But there it feels.
It is and will be.

The darkness doesn’t scare me,
Being used to it all before.

Off into,
The black below.
The dark skies above,
A home I’ve known,
But never wanted.

In the sky,
I look up and wonder,
Staying on,

In the waiting,
The time and the black.

Oh the world,
Spins as it moves,
Passes and grows.

Sitting in place,
The time existing and I wonder,
In place.

Peaceful, letting the darkness grab hold,
Because it used to be my home.
One I know just so well.

Just here,
In place with the darkness all around,
Sitting unafraid,
Just waiting, wondering and pondering.
Sitting in place.
Letting the fade.

As I look out,
Darkness all around,
A known sight,
Looking out.

Into.

Had a shitty day, work was hectic and just tiring. The rest of the day, my mind plaguing me, mistakes I constantly walk into, stupidly. Always the same.

But Not

But not.
Living in those smallest moments,
Loving the life.
So many worries yet to come.

But while,
In this moment.
The fade.
Feelings, introspective,
Of it all.

Of all this.
Of these times.
Feelings, an unending puzzle.
Questions left in the mind.

Of all there is,
Peace and not.
Walking down this road.

Through it all,
The calling,
Into time it all flows.

Okay.
But not.
Unsure,
But not.

Wondering, wandering in this time,
But not.


Had an amazing day, saw friends I haven’t in months, some as far back as Christmas. Was really good. After we left, felt a bit sad.

Lots of things, the “post-good-time” sadness I usually get. Thinking of the future, of being alone generally, don’t talk to family much, friends leaving, I’m leaving home. Sad I’ve changed a lot, most is good, but worried about some stuff changing negatively, but maybe, probably just me thinking.

Thinking of the past, lots of changes, lots of growth, but feeling a little alone, lost, happy yet also sad, and lots more.

Definitely was a good day and don’t want to seem ungrateful for this amazing time, but yeah. Lots of introspective thinking.

Too Good To Be True

Too good to be true,
A sadness to my understanding.
Counterpoint to my feeling.

Ignoring what I feel.
Reluctantly,
But ever-so harder.
To confine my feeling.

Feelings return,
Warm and better.

Too good.
A constant reminder.
Too good.

Dampen my hopes,
To avoid the pain.
Pain of loss.
Hurt from love.
Hurt from caring too much.

Caring too much.
The pain this causes.
Worth it to feel the warmth on me.

Again.
I remind myself,
Of the past.

This feeling,
The care,
Too good to be true.

Memory of the Feeling

The memory of the feeling,
The happiness, sitting up at night,
And staring deeply into the nightsky.
The black depth,
The stary intricacies.

Losing myself in the depth,
Losing myself in the beauty of the memory.
And now I find myself,
Relying on the memory of that feeling.

Sitting back,
Wondering where it went,
The feeling, lost to a memory.
The feeling.
Lost to another time.

The memory, a mere shell of the feeling.
Unsatisfied with the mere memory.

Here I am.
Sitting here.
Left with but a mere memory,
Memory of the feeling.
The feeling past.
Reminiscing on the time, the memory, the memory of the feeling while remembering the time.

I sit here.
Left.

With the memory of the feeling.

A Future; Happy, Yet Always Sad.

Contemplating a future, not yet arrived.

The loss, the moving on.
With nothing but memories to hold on to,
Contemplating, ruminating, what will become.

A time when I am finally happy,
After so long of being lost.

I have found.
Yet lost.
Yet know what has been found.

Can finally truly be happy,
Yet always with a tinge of sadness,
Of what past,
What lost,
How different.

Sadness, bringing happiness.
A dichotomy of life,
What is to come.

I accept this.
This possible outcome, as I must.
But will fight it, for what I think can be good.

In the end, I will have found happiness, through the simplest moments.
And even in the slight sadness, it will be ever-happy,
With what it is,
What it was,
What it represents.

Am I deluded?
Perhaps.

The only devastation that can come of this,
Forgetting this true lesson.
Forgetting the memories that slip away,
Despite all my efforts to grasp.

This future, approaching me.

One of many potentialities.

Yet as it seems.

I have finally find solace, contentment.
To be happy, yet always sad…

For what had come.
What had passed.

Mind’s Questions

The mind’s questions,

I rattle and wreck my mind,

Looking for a hint, an answer,

Painful the question burns.

Better the feeling than the lack of,

Better now than the pain,

Yet it still comes,

Better, nicer and upward looking?

Able to express and think,

Think and question,

Question debate and have fun.

Those small moments talking.

The questions of my mind,

Arise in the mist of uncertainty,

My mind a haze uncleared.

All I know erased.

Clinging on to all I know,

To find that I do not.

Questioning what is.

When it’s found out not.

My mind’s questions,

A hazy background.

Unclear and sometimes hurtful.

Wondering the pain,

Searching through uncertainty.

But yet.

My mind is still filled with questions.

The questions linger there.

In the haze. The most. The uncertainty.

Of my mind.